This Is My Lifestyle

My name is Brian Murphy. I am currently employed at the qubo network, a children's network put together by NBC, ION Television, Scholastic, Nelvana (Babar), and Big Idea (Veggie Tales). After work, I normally make myself dinner, check my email, and read the news. After spending some time with my roommates, I read my Bible and go to sleep.

I attend Bel Air Presbyterian Church in Southern California. Wednesday nights used to be Campus Crusade, but now it's Bible study at the church. Growing up (and now during holidays), I go to Fourth Presbyerian Church in Bethesda, MD (where I am still a member).

I was raised in Potomac, MD. My father is a patent attorney. My mother is a social worker and worked for YoungLife for seven years (some before I was born, some while I was in high school). Every summer I go on a vacation with my extended family.

Sometimes on the weekends I go to Disneyland with my friends. I'm a big fan of movie nights. The Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays. I try to spend it in DC with my friends from high school whenever possible.










In high school, I was involved with YoungLife at my high school. I went to campaigners, camp, and even volunteered for work crew. In college, I spent a month on summer staff.

YoungLife's Saranac Village in high school

On the Ropes Course at Lake Champion

My family is also an important part of my life. My sister and I say that we're "best friends for life." Our parents stressed the importance of family, faith, commitment, cooperation, and love. They make a conscious effort to model the type of people we should aspire to be. I look forward to all the time I spend with them.




Here are some more of my favorite photographs:

(1) Square-dancing while on Summer Staff at YoungLife camp, (2) Some of my friends eating ice cream in Westwood, CA, (3) "Extreme Games" activity at Lake Champion.

Blowing out my birthday candles with my sister and cousin's children.

(1) With my friends over summer vacation a few years ago, (2) one of my best friends, (3) sitting in a friend's hammock with my then-boyfriend

On a boat with my father

(1) Out to dinner with friends in MD, (2) last night with the Ropes Course crew at Lake Champion, (3) my roommate Ryan and I, (4) In N Out with friends visiting from high school

Raising up holy hands

Due to car problem and graduation craziness, today was the first time I was able to attend church since I returned to Los Angeles after the Equality Ride. Bel Air Presbyterian is nestled in the mountains of Mullholland Drive and serves the greater LA region. It has been a fixture of my faith experience at USC. This morning marked the first time I attended as a graduate and the first time I'd been in a church after the ride. It was different not having my fellow riders with me in a church, but very familiar to be back in the church I've gone to for the past three years.

I was happy to be home.

Today's sermon was the first in a series on Mark... "The Gospel of Action." Pastor Mark Brewer spoke about how Mark launched right into Jesus's ministry, how Jesus was active, and specifically how Jesus was "in the business of healing." He looked at Mark 1:40-45 where Jesus heals the paralytic. It was a good sermon on what it really means when Christ shows up in your life. He echoed a sentiment that Mr. McKinnon once shared with me: no one encounters Jesus and remains unchanged. I know that is true for me. Mark often talks of the spiriting driving him (rather than a less emphatic "leading"). Boy have I felt that.

He also pointed out something I don't often think about: "You're going to need Jesus more after the healing than before." Finding the healing power of Jesus is amazing, but it does not come without a responsibility. As the Lord continues to heal, shape, and refine my life, I find myself relying on the Spirit even more.

I was also encouraged by this thought:

You might be laying foundations in business, in ministries, in relationships... that you will never see come to fruition. That might not be your role. Your role might be to lay the groundwork for something great. Your role is to listen to the Lord.

I can't wait for next week!

Put Equality Ride on your iPod

I've formatted our West bus Equality Ride videos for iPod. You can download them using the links below and then all you have to do is add them to your iTunes Library. They're all ready to go. Thanks to Adam Britt for hosting the files.

University of Notre Dame
Wisconsin Lutheran University
Brigham Young University
Brigham Young University - Idaho

West Bus Photo Slideshow

Enjoy!

Video: Faith, Family, and Identity at Brigham Young University -- Idaho

First of all, I apologize for the severe delay in bringing you this video. It was completed while I was still on the ride but a series of unfortunate events delayed the release. Thanks for sticking with us and continuing to be interested in the Equality Ride.

As a note, Soulforce will be co-sponsoring a New York Marriage Ride this summer from July 14-27. You can visit the site for more information. Soulforce also has an important Ex-Gay Survivors conference coming from June 29 - July 1. Many Soulforce participants have experienced the pain caused by so-called ex-gay therapy. Hopefully this conference can be a place to start the healing process for the countless others who have been victims of anti-gay rhetoric.

And here our video from BYU-I

Progress at Pepperdine

I had the opportunity to catchup with outgoing Malibu GLEE president Jamaal Crowley yesterday. He informed me that progress towards making Malibu GLEE into Pepperdine GLEE, complete with school recognition, is going slowly at best. Pepperdine administrators have vowed to keep the conversation going but are uncertain whether GLEE can be recognized. I believe that as this conversation continues, the school will begin to understand that they cannot truly love and support their GLBT students without giving them voice and venue. With official sanction for their group withheld, GLBT Pepeprdine students continue to be second-class students... and even worse, GLBT Christians continue to be second-rate believers.

I was however excited to learn that Jamaal received dozens of emails from queer students--many of them closeted--after our visit. They had seen Jamaal speaking at one of our on-campus events and were so encouraged by his presence and his outreach. This is another way in which Equality Ride has fulfilled its goal of giving GLBT students at schools a voice. The closeted GLBT students who contacted Jamaal now have a person to turn to, a ear who will listen, and a heart who will love and support. It also reinforced the gravity of our present situation. I count myself blessed to have interacted with so many beautiful, faithful, gifted, and passionate individuals at the schools we visited.

At every school I met GLBT students, straight allies, and students willing to honestly consider the issues we presented. But what I often lost sight of were the closeted students, observing from a distance. In a very vague way, I knew they were there. I remember being in the closet myself. I knew that a big part of my personal reason for joining the ride was to witness to them. But they were always that--vague. When Jamaal told me of the outpouring of response he had received it made it all very real. There are closeted GLBT students at these schools and their lives are being changed by our mere presence. I hope that they continue to follow Soulforce and Equality Ride even after we've left. I hope they continue to seek out positive and affirming Christian voices. I hope they continue to draw strength from the LORD who created them--fearfully and wonderfully.

And if they ever decide to step out of the closet, I hope they know they can always talk to us.

Can I get an amen?

Joe Carter posted recently about the potential "deadly trappings" of Evangelicalism over at the evangelical outpost. He points out the fads and superficialities that all-too-often dominate "Christian culture" as the real message of Christ is lost. There is a disparity between message sent and message sent. All I have to say is: AMEN!

Check it out.

President Carter chimes in on Don't Ask, Don't Tell

President Jimmy Carter has called upon Congress to repeal the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy which bans the open service of gay and lesbian personnel in the US Armed Service. His statement to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Networks is being reported by The Advocate, Yahoo! News, and many other news services.

In his statement to SLDN, Carter said, "'Don't ask, don't tell' is the only law in America today that regulates a group of citizens, then prohibits them from identifying themselves and speaking up on their own behalf. Gay soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines are unable to tell their member of Congress or their commander that the policy is an abject failure, and they are living proof because they will face discharge. Those who defend our liberties and freedoms deserve better...

The estimated 65,000 gay men and women who currently are serving our country honorably deserve respect. America has always been a beacon of hope for those who believe in human rights and individual dignity. The brave and dedicated men and women of our armed forces also must benefit from this fundamental ideal."

To read his entire statement, visit www.sldn.org
Use the following official resources to find and contact your voices in Congress about this important matter: Senate / House

It is encouraging to see the voices for equality growing in number and in esteem. I know I personally have not done enough in appealing to my representatives on this and other issues that are important to me. That's one area I'd like to improve in.

What are some other issues facing Congress that are important?

Yolanda King remembered

Today another American has passed. Yolanda King, daughter of civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. died today. In the wake of Jerry Falwell's passing yesterday, I hope that the legacy of this important life is not overlooked. I am thankful for relentless work in civil and human rights ... truly something worth being remembered for.

Today, fellow Equality Rider Cray Condek passed on a message from Yolanda King. After hearing her speak at the Ohio State University, Cray was able to spend some time talking with her. She had heard of Soulforce and was encouraged to hear of the Equality Ride. She gave this note, to pass along to all of us:

"To the Equality Riders, continue to live the dream! Blessings, Yolanda King"

Blessings to you Ms. King. Your family and your friends are in my prayers today.

Soulforce observes the passing of Rev Jerry Fallwell

Soulforce, the Lynchburg, VA-based organization which seeks freedom for LGBT people from political and religious oppression and founded by the Reverend Mel White, friend and former ghost-writer for the Reverend Jerry Falwell, has released a statement on Falwell’s passing (not yet available online, sent via email):

Soulforce Observes the Passing of Rev. Jerry Falwell

Today, the staff and board of directors of Soulforce observe the passing of Rev. Jerry Falwell and offer our sincere condolences to his family, the members of Thomas Road Baptist Church, and the students at Liberty University.

“While Soulforce has a long history of nonviolent direct action at Jerry Falwell Ministries, our adversary was never Jerry Falwell, but rather the misinformation about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people espoused by Falwell and so many others,” said Soulforce Executive Director Jeff Lutes.

Soulforce was founded in October, 1999, when Rev. Dr. Mel White and his partner, Gary Nixon, took 200 delegates to meet with Rev. Falwell and his representatives. The purpose of the meeting was to help end hate speech and violence against sexual minorities. Prior to coming out as a gay man, White ghost wrote two books for Falwell (If I Should Die Before I Wake and Strength for the Journey).

Upon hearing the news of Rev. Falwell’s death, White said “It breaks my heart to think that Jerry died without ever discovering the truth about God’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender children. I sincerely hope that one day his school and his church will have a change of heart.”

Soulforce remains committed to changing hearts and minds and ending the political and religious oppression of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people.

Mel White (center), Jerry Falwell (center), Gary Nixon (right)

Rev Jerry Falwell has died

The Associate Press reports that Jerry Falwell passed away this morning. The 2006 Equality Ride visited his Liberty University and Soulforce founder and president, Mel White, lives in Lynchburg, VA to be in close proximity. Despite Falwell's historic stance against GLBT-equality, I would like to send my prayers out to Jerry Falwell's family, his students, his friends, and those who knew him. He was a child of God and though he disagreed with including GLBT individuals in the Christian fold, I am truly saddened to hear of his passing. We are all God's children. God bless.

That's all for today.

Or I will no longer be human.

Eleven students at Gordon College in Massachusetts poured their everything into the newly created student magazine, If I Told You, for a candid glimpse at what it is like to be queer at Gordon. These stories reflect the reality of what it means to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender: that everyone is at a different stage. Some of these students are barely able to love themselves, others are ready to challenge the world to love them fully. There is heartbreak, despair, regret, pride, love, adoration, and faith.

As I read through these stories, one line continues to haunt me.

I won’t find that love in my family, my friends, my school, my church, or some random guy.
That love comes from God and is the only thing I have left to hold on to. Don’t try to take it away from me. You can take away my self-esteem and my dignity; you can kick me out of church and deny me rights; you can physically beat me or call me names; you can laugh at me and you can pity me; but you can never, never take away my God.
Or I will no longer be human.

God bless the GLBT students of Gordon College. May they know in their heart that God loves them and affirms them without reservation.

Equality Ride Update

A press release went out this morning recapping what has happened at the 24 schools that the west bus and east bus visited during March and April. Here are some excerpts:

Negotiations with prospective schools began last October. Some schools welcomed the Riders' diverse perspectives, some set narrow limitations on the Riders' campus access, and others went so far as to ban them from campus.

In the end, the Riders suffered more than 100 trespassing arrests in order to bring a message of hope and justice to every school on both routes.

But while arrests provide one indicator of the Riders' commitment, the Ride's lasting impact at the schools can be measured in other ways:

• Six of the schools on this year's route have new gay-straight alliances.
• An unofficial LGBT support group at Pepperdine University has been granted a new hearing on achieving official group status.
• At Baylor University, students have started a petition asking the institution to review its policy on "homosexual behavior."
• At University of Notre Dame, the gay and lesbian alumni network has called for a boycott on giving to their alma mater.
• Seattle and New York City proclaimed April 11 and April 14, respectively, as the official Soulforce Equality Ride 2007 Day.
• Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, changed its policy during the course of the Equality Ride. The revised policy clarifies that the university will respond to "homosexual behavior rather than to feelings or orientation." The previous policy had proscribed "homosexual behavior, whether implicit or explicit."

Impacts on individual hearts and minds will continue to develop long after the Equality Riders have returned home. Student newspapers continue to cover students who have come out in the wake of the Equality Ride. And, in cities across America, hundreds of people have now engaged in conversations about sexuality and faith because their churches, student groups, and equality organizations joined Riders for meals, community service, and public presentations.

At the Riders' "Welcome Home" service in Mankato, Minnesota, the mother of a straight student from Bethany Lutheran College approached Herrin. "As she cried, she told me that she was so disappointed in how they responded by arresting 10 Equality Riders. Her son came home from school that day to tell her he was transferring because he was so disgusted."

"As long as these schools, like Bethany Lutheran, continue to discriminate, they will have to face the consequences. Financially, spiritually and socially, they cannot turn away from the suffering they create," affirmed Herrin.

A Prayer for Activists

If you read other Equality Ride blogs (see sidebar below), you may be seeing this pop-up in other places as well. Equality Ride founder and Soulforce Q co-director Jacob Reitan offered up this prayer. It's beautiful and so I will share it with you.

A Prayer for Activists

God, bless me with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that You will live deep in my heart. God, bless me with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people and the earth so that I will work for justice, equity and peace. God bless me with tears to shed for those who suffer so that I will reach out my hand to comfort them and change their pain into joy. God bless me with the foolishness to think that I can make a difference in the world, so that I will do the things which others say cannot be done.

Fr. Richard Rohr, OFM

Concerning Mormonism

As I was looking up searches that had led to hits on my blog, I found BYU-I College Democrats and their post about the then-upcoming Soulforce visit. The author gives a brief explanation of Soulforce and Equality Ride from his perspective and goes on to give his thoughts on the matter. A rather heated exchanged follows in the Comments section. With the ride behind us, I wanted to throw my voice into the mix... hopefully to better clarify our goals for our visits and to aid in a path towards reconciliation. I'll repost my thoughts here:

As one of the riders from the 2007 Soulforce Equality Ride, I'd like to take a little time to comment on the ride in general and the 2007 visits to BYU-Provo and BYU-I.

I know it's a little bit dated but it came up in a Google search I was running...

I hope that the students of BYU-I had time to speak with the riders as we stood oustide of the school or at BYU-Provo as we walked around it for hours. I'm sure if you did you would see that we neither forced a dialogue with anyone we talked to nor did we ever call a person a bigot. Conversations must be two-sided and all of the conversations that I engaged in were consensual, civil, and mutually enriching--even when I spoke to individuals with views different from my own.

I was raised Protestant Christian but over the course of the ride, spent weeks speaking with our LDS riders about the Church and the faith. It is such a beautiful faith, I wish I had been exposed to it earlier in life. I even procured a Book of Mormon which I have begun to read. The RM that I spent the most time speaking with once called attention to the Holy Ghost witnessing to me as well... it was a surreal experience.

But now I am at a crossroads. I am gay. That is an anthropological fact of my existence. The First Presidency and The Twelve Apostles recognize that sexual orientation is often beyond conscious choice and often cannot be changed. They even recommend against opposite-sex marriage for those individuals who have a homosexual orientation.

So now what do I do? I have been presented with this beautiful faith. A faith with much purpose. A faith founded on family. But a faith that tells me I have no place in it. Where do I go and what do I do?

I have seen what other GLBT Mormons have done. They have tried to change themselves--and they have failed. For every major medical, psychological, and sociological organizations agrees that it is impossible to change one's orientation (and the General Authorities tacitly agree).

I have seen them try to hold down relationships with members of the opposite sex. Hoping for normalcy and to fit into this beautiful theological system. But that is not honest. It is not honest to the partner, to the person, or to God.

I have read statements that say there will be no homosexual desires in the next life and that an individual should do everything in his or her power to avoid "sinful behavior." I have known bright, rational, grounded individuals be gradually driven to either contemplate or attempt suicide because they feel it is their only option. And I have seen that once they make peace with the way Heavenly Father created them, once they find supportive family, friends, and Church members... thoughts of suicide would never enter into their mind. These are not clinically depressed individuals, they are individuals who have been pushed to the edge and who know no other option.

Soulforce and the Equality Ride is sometimes misrepresented by school administrations or the media. I have heard it said that we just want to create a media spectacle to further "our agenda." Our only goal truly is to engage in conversations. That is what we do everywhere go. Look at MidAmerica Nazarene, Pepperdine, Fresno Pacific, George Fox, Seattle Pacific, Northwest, Northwest Nazarene, Dordt, and others. We spent hours and sometimes days in honest, Christ-centered dialogue about who we are as individuals and what we believe in and why. I know that at every school stop where the West Bus was on campus, administrators told us that they were happy to have us and that while we disagree, the conversations were mutually enriching. I would second that opinion. We can still learn from one another and grow to understand one another better.

In places like Provo, Rexburg, Billings, and Ellendale where the schools would not let us on campus, we had conversations nonetheless. I attended a student discussion group in Provo with over 75 BYU students present. We hosted dinner conversations and picnics in parks. We talked in restaurants, coffee shops, and on street corners. We listened and we learned.

At each stop I learned so much about the denominations of the school and of the individuals in attendance. I took away so much from the past two months, from every encounter that I had, and I'd like to think that I made an impression on at least a few people along the way.

Change happens. In society, slavery was abolished and so was segregation. In the LDS faith, blacks were allowed to enter the priesthood and plural marriage came to an end. Only the Prophet has the power to enact sweeping change but in the meantime, we are allowed to talk about it. There was discussion about blacks in the priesthood long before the change took place. Learning more about our GLBT brothers and sisters is not sinful, nay it is necessary. Nor does engaging in this conversation mean we must abandon our beliefs. Just because change happened in the past, doesn't mean it will happen in the future. Even if no one ever changes their attitudes (which, is entirely a person's right), conversation and growing understanding will still be beneficial. We are all Heavenly Father's children...I can't imagine Jesus not wanting to know us better!

I understand that we are all imperfect humans and thus sometimes people react in less then Christ-like ways when they find out someone is gay, but only through openly and candidly addressing these issues can we hope for improvement.

It was my honest desire at every stop not to change anyone's mind but to learn more about them and tell them more about myself. To hear about their faith journey and to share my own. Four GLBT youths take their life every day, this is something we need to talk about.

I hope if the Equality Ride returns to BYU-I next year you will take some time out of your schedule to go speak with them. I think you'd find we have much in common. And if not, feel free to email us. I would be happy to talk with you or put you in contact with one of our LDS riders.

This is an issue that is dividing the country and ripping families a part. I would like to be a part of the solution and I would like you to be as well. And I think that the first step is talking to one another. That's all I'm asking.

Brian
brian@equalityride.com

Looking back, I worry that I did not adequately answer the blogger's question, "What are they trying to do?" Or maybe, why are we trying to do this. BYU-I (and other colleges we visit) may not actively "teach homophobia" or hold anti-gay rallies, but the policies they hold and the positions they espouse regarding sexual orientation marginalize, silence, and relegate GLBT members of the faith. This is spiritually, emotionally, and psychological damaging to the individual. It is also my belief that is damaging to God's community on Earth. We come to these schools to bring a different perspective. A perspective that affirms individuals who happen to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. We come to speak about our experiences as GLBT individuals and as believers. We come to support those students who are suffering in silence on these campuses. We come to be present, to be witnesses. We come because these beliefs are causing mothers to wish death upon their sons, causing sisters to leave the faith, causing loved ones to kill themselves.

We come because this conversation is too important not to have.

Musings on The Point

Many months ago, I added The Point to my Google Reader. I believe there was a post about the 2007 Soulforce Equality Ride which caught my initial attention and then interesting and engaging posts afterwards to hold it. As a (relatively) conservative Christian blog, there are often points or issues with which I disagree--both from the bloggers and the commentators--but it continues to be an interesting and often enlightening read nonetheless. I would suggest you check it out and get involved with the discussions!

Yesterday, I read this post about Nick Vujicic, who I had the opportunity to hear speak at my church, Bel Air Presbyterian in February. Nick was born with no arms or legs and only a semblance of one foot. Nick moves and even swims with ease and grace. I can't imagine it is easy, but he makes it look effortless. At the end of the short post, blogger Zoe Sandvig raises the issue of abortion, specifically related "deformed fetuses". The other stories she linked to were equally moving. I am thrilled to see the human spirit and the Holy Spirit working in tandem in the lives of these outstanding individuals. I'm also thankfully for the inspirations these people give to others and the witness they provide. What a great testament to the human ability to overcome adversity! (I'm a little nervous at the potential to overgeneralize, over-politicize, and overemphasize these individuals' stories ... but that's something else)

Today, I read another post, Working at Works, by T.M. Moore. I suddenly felt like I was back on Equality Ride (I'm not sure Moore wasn't expecting that!). We can never forget the call to love and to serve. The Christian faith should not be an idle faith, but an active one. Jesus was constantly in motion. 1 John 3:18, a verse which I quoted often on the road, came to mind. I decided to post this comment:

Your post brings to mind 1 John 3:18 "Dear children, let us not love with words or in tongue, but with action and in truth."

What does our love look like? For our friends, for our adversaries, for our neighbors? For the poor? For our GLBT brothers and sisters in Christ? For the sick?

How might we love all of these people not just with lip-service, but with action and in truth? That is something I try to meditate on and then put into action.

I hope that it will spark some conversation and introspection, both online and in churches and communities around the country. In every place it can, this conversation must continue.

Thinking for the first time

I sit in my own apartment, in Los Angeles, California. I am no longer in a crowded room of people. I no longer call a bus my home. Tonight I will sleep completely alone, tomorrow I will not have any responsibilities.

I remember the day I first read the Equality Ride website: I sat in my parent's house, on my childhood bed and thought "I could do this." I wasn't sure if I would or if I should... but I did. And it has made all the difference. I look back at that person and it is just a dull reflection of who I am today. 53 amazing individuals have shaped and reformed me into something more brilluant than I could have ever planned. I look back at the past two months, remembering all that has happened, and I know that I have not even begun to fully process the experience.

I remember being barred from University of Notre Dame property for life
I remember being told "Get thee behind me Satan" by a pastor
I remember suicides ignored
I remember students silenced
I remember long days
I remember fruitful conversations
I remember presentations and class visits
I remember hot meals
I remember cold faces
I remember standing ovations
I remember accusations of "disordered"
I remember "abuse" "pedophile" "drug addict" "alcoholism" "addictions" "promiscuity" "depression"
I remember many "thank-yous"
I remember too many goodbyes
I remember "The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality, the opposite of homosexuality is holiness"
I remember late night, early mornings, and the desire to do it all over again
I remember fences
I remember "Keep out" signs
I remember the wind and the rain and the cold
I remember God

I remember living.

Small Town Sunday

A dog met us at the front door of the MOTEL we were staying at (no other name on the building was visible). The parking lot was dusty gravel and a Bud Light truck was the only other vehicle with us. Jonathan passed out the room keys. This time they were brass keys, not the plastic keycards we've been used to. I found an ashtray in my bathroom.

This is Ellendale, North Dakota, population 1500. We'd driven close to 12 hours through the night to get here. I would later talk to Haven about the trip and we decided it was the most surreal experience of our lives. Twenty-five young adults, who've known each other so briefly, but love each other so intensely. Held together by the singularly passion for the love of what is not now, but might be one day. This nebulous idea of social justice that we've each experienced in our own small ways that somehow seems totally existent as we drive together through the Badlands, under the stars, with nothing but the headlights. How did I get to a place where I would be asleep in a truck stop, next to a cow truck, with so many other people who have given up everything for two months. What we want exists only in our heads ... but there it is so real. I don't think I'll ever be the same.

Shortly after arriving in Ellendale, we congregate for dinner and a meeting, which takes a somber turn after the head of the Emergency Response Unit stops by. He will be blocking the road that runs into the school and the road that runs in front of the school (where we will be standing) to squash a threat from locals that they were planning to "run us off with combines." During our dinnertime meeting, three of our riders were jeered at. The police want our bus to stay next to us during the day we're outside of Trinity Bible College so that we can evacuate quickly if necessary.

Our bus attracts attention everywhere we go. Here, there is not a single person that doesn't know we've arrived. In fact, the ERU chief estimated there were approximately 100 more people in town the night before. His only guess was that they came because we were here. When some Trinity Students stopped by the hotel to talk with Justin, they told him their parents were coming into town for the day.

After weeks of schools that allowed us on to have dialogue, even as they had discriminatory policies in place, I had almost forgotten that such intense oppression existed. What happens to kids who grow up in this town when they begin to realize they might be LGBT? What happens to the families when children move away so that they can be themselves? What is the reaction when they return? I don't know.

East Bus Update

As I've been making my way across the country on the Westbound bus of the 2007 Equality Ride, 25 of my amazing peers have been criss-crossing the eastern half of the USA. I haven't posted many updates about them myself but hopefully you've found the links to their blogs on the sidebar or have been reading the official Equality Ride blog.

As I was searching for the Washington Post video from Patrick Henry, I also found a video from the Eastbound bus stop at Bob Jones University (created by someone outside of Soulforce). I have posted the video below.

Voluntary Redemptive Suffering

The president of Yellowstone Baptist College has been refusing to allow dialogue on campus. Despite numerous requests from stop organizer Emil Pohlig to come to some sort of agreement, he was steadfast in his stance: we were not welcome.

This is not something new, we are too familiar with rejection. It is especially painful when such rejection comes from Christians--those who follow Christ, the one who spread His arms so wide open the political and religious authorities had him executed. Today was no different. With winds blowing at 20mph, rain pouring from the cloudy sky, and mud spraying up from cars driving by, we walked from our bus to the entrance of the college.

"Welcome to Montana, I guess this is just what you're up against," the president said as he greeted us at the front gates. Emil asked him to reconsider: we would really appreciate some time on campus to talk with him and students. He refused. Jillian asked if he we could simply join with them in worship, to get out of the cold and the rain. He again refused. "I wish the weather was better for you, but you cannot come in."

I was floored. I tried to imagine standing on the sidewalk with Jesus. Cold, windworn, soaking wet, tired, rejected. What would he have to say to me? "No you cannot rest." "No you cannot worship." "No I will not shelter you." "No I will not feed you." Somehow I doubt it. I imagine Jesus standing there, "Come in my child, for you are tired and cold. Come in and find rest in me. Come in and talk with me. Come in and share your life with me." As the president turned his back and walked away, I was distraught at the sad state of affairs.

For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me. ... I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.
Matt 25:42-43, 45

We stayed outside the college for six hours today, holding lilies of peace and Bible verses which we were drawn to. I tried for the life of me to remember a particular verse from Mr. McKinnon's sixth grade Sunday school class and I could remember most of the memory verses except for the one I wanted. I eventually settled on Romans 13:10 "[And whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule; 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'] Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Every Christian can probably quote verses about loving your neighbor, but I find this verse particularly helpful because it outlines a specific character of love: that it does no harm to its neighbor.

When I woke up this morning, I finally remembered the verse I'd been thinking of:

1 Timothy 4:12 "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young; but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."

It was a long day, it was a cold day. But I and the other riders set an example for believers. In speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity. And thus, it was a good day.

Rude Awakenings

We awoke this morning to find the side of our bus smathered in paintballs.

I sit on the bus now as the police clean our bus. It has been a pleasure working with the chief of police; his support warms me on this rainy morning.

"I wish you safe journey and I'm glad you stopped in Rexburg"

And now we drive to Billings.

Sent from Treo

Playing in the park

I just returned from our community picnic in Porter Park, Rexburg, ID. The turnout was very encouraging. There were students, community members young and old, and even some families. I was able to speak with a few students and had the joy of listening to a straight freshman talk about how he tries to be supportive to his gay friends, both LDS and non-LDS. A positive effect I have noticed first hand is that Equality Ride helps to pull the supporters out of the woodwork. They are able to realize they aren't the only ones who hold differing opinions. And when they find us, it enables us to put students in contact with them!

If there are any students at schools on the Equality Ride route or in nearby communities, I'd be happy to put you in contact with supportive peers and parents in the area

Conversations in the Latter Days: Our time at Brigham Young University Idaho

BYU-Idaho, like BYU in Provo, refused to let us on to campus. We were still able to have a highly successful day in Rexburg nonetheless. There is a public road that goes into campus which we were able to be on. We stood in vigil outside of the campus, holding pictures of our families--a fundamental part of the LDS faith, yet something that is being torn apart by school policy and church doctrine regarding LGBT people.

Throughout the day we had riders standing at the intersection, greeting students as they went to and from the dorms and their classes. Despite harsh letters from the administrators, there were still students willing to stop and talk with us. In fact, many came out specifically to talk to us. To me, this demonstrates an immense bravery on the part of the students. They are so thirsty for this conversation that they are willing to risk disciplinary action from the administration (who had posted security guards to watch who was talking to us). One of them walked past the vigil line and said, "Hello Jillian, how are you today?" It was a very surreal day.

I found that many of these students simply had not stopped to consider what they had been taught about sexual orientation and gender identity. I know that many people walked away with "lots to think about." I was among them. I learned even more about the LDS faith than I had from Emil, Mike, and Matt thus far. And I really learned to examine what I believe in and why. I learned to listen. And I got to meet dozens of new people.

Among the students who stopped to talk with us were some wrestling with their sexual orientation or gender identity. For their protection, I won't describe the conversation other than to say it is unfortunate that these students must continue to suffer in silence within the walls of their institution. I am thankful for every conversation I had. And I am hopeful that other GLBT students felt affirmed simply by our presence, even if they could not bring themselves to talk with us.

Today we decided not to return to campus in light of the events at Virginia Tech. We wanted to process and mourn amongst ourselves and allow BYU-ID to do the same. As I walked to the local grocery store with a few other riders, we went past The Backyard--a restaurant near our hotel. We heard someone say "Are you with Soulforce?" We looked and found an employee who was walking in to the building. We said yes and she literally jumped for joy, screamed, and gave me a big hug. She tried to meet up with us yesterday she said, but couldn't find us. We told her about the picnic at Porter's park tonight at 5:00pm and she's going to come!

Six weeks into the ride, I would think that I would stop having "Wow, that just made this all worth it" moments. But I still have them. This trip has been worth it so many times over already, and I'm sure with our upcoming stops we will continue to impact even more lives.

And now it's time for me to leave for the park!

Madame Speaker...

On Monday, April 16, 2007, the Honorary Jerrold L Nadler (D- New York) stood before the House of Representatives and made this formal address, which has been logged in congressional record.

"Madame Speaker, I rise today to pay tribute to an extraordinary group of young adults - - The Equality Riders - - who have dedicated two months of their lives traveling thousands of miles, visiting 32 colleges and universities around the country and talking to countless students, faculty members and staff in pursuit of social justice.

The spirit of The Equality Ride was born out of the recognition that homophobia is globally pervasive and that no country, state, city, community or school escapes its reach. The Equality Ride offers a unique opportunity for student activists to dedicate their time and energy in the pursuit of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered equality through the practice of nonviolent resistance and educational campaigns.

I embrace the spirit of The Equality Ride and these leaders in the fight for social justice. The participants of the Equality Ride as well as its supporters have changed numerous lives, raised awareness and challenged notions regarding homosexuality through both on and off campus activities.

While conducting their work on the various campuses, riders confront some of their harshest critics and engage in structured dialogue with the academic community through classroom presentations, panel discussions, school-wide forums and film screenings as well as informal interactions. Outside of the college and university campuses, communities have welcomed the riders to share in worship, potlucks, fundraisers and meetings.

I applaud these riders and their supporters who have tirelessly waged a campaign of truth based on the nonviolent practices of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi to end the cycle of fear and misunderstanding that causes this vicious form of prejudice. As the Chairman of the Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Rights and Civil Liberties, it is my great honor to pay tribute to these visionary young people and congratulate them on their courage, determination and dedication."

Ripples

I found this blog today. Weeks after we pulled away from the George Fox campus, the positive effects of our visit are still being felt in the community at large. And I am encouraged.

It's good to remember how often Quakers are tender people. Last week, for instance, I shared with A., in my meeting, the story of the encounter between Soul Force and George Fox University. I knew that I had been moved by the story. But to watch A. respond with brimming eyes and a face full of tenderness... I was moved by how readily he was moved.

This is why we go.

Catching Up

A lot has happened since my last blog and I apologize for that. We've already been to Portland. Seattle, and Nampa and are now situated in Rexburg, ID. I visited George Fox in Oregon, Seattle Pacific in Seattle, and Northwest Nazarene in Nampa, ID.

Before our arrival at George Fox, Kelsey's YoungLife leader from high school, Steve Sherwood, contacted her--he now teaches there. Before our stop at Seattle Pacific, Stef Shaffer, one of my YL leaders did too--she now works at SPU part-time while going to grad school nearby. It was encouraging to have their support and encouragement. I was one of the visitors to Steve's class and was able to speak with his wife afterwards. "God is already using you in amazing ways, we'll continue to pray for you." I don't think I ever would have imagined hearing those words in high school. I am supremely encouraged to know that there are supportive voices out there interacting with young people at such an important time in their personal and spiritual development.

Stef took Emil and I out to coffee on our first day in Seattle and we had a terrific time catching up on everything that has happened in the past few years. Stef has been thinking of me a lot as she has been following the ride, hoping that it isn't taking a tool on me and praying for my continued strength. She also made a point to come out to the presentations on campus.

Out time at Seattle Pacific University exceeded my wildest expectations. Haven and I gave a presentation on Genesis at 10am that was attended by well over 200 students. They filled every chair, sat in the aisles, perched on the window ledges, and crammed into the doorways. I was told by a reporter that an estimated 100 students had gathered outside, just listening since there was no room inside. After our presentation and a short response from an Old Testament scholar the questions began. "When did you become gay?" "How do you reconcile your sexual orientation with Scripture?" "Are you more at risk medically?" "Where do you find yourself in Scripture?" I believe we had positive answers for all of them and the presentation concluded with a standing ovation. I was nearly mobbed afterwards by students who wanted to hear more, who had new questions, who wanted to follow-up. There is a thirst for this conversation. I am so thankful that SPU decided to host it and I am hopeful that other universities on out route will do the same thing. These students are well equipped to wrestle with important theological issues...especially when the consequences are nothing short of a person's humanity.

Northwest Nazarene presented its own challenges. The administration there also allowed us on campus, and they made sure to remind us of that. I think they were surprised at the turn-out to both of our presentations. I was told that at least one remarked "we weren't expecting this many students to come." During our meals and in between presentations I again found students eager for this conversation. Some had never thought about it, some believed to be gay was a sin, some were GLBT-affirming but didn't quite know how to put those beliefs into action. I had mutually enriching conversations with everyone.

I hear that this conversation cannot happen, but time and time again it does. I hear that it must be an argument, but it never is. I hear that I am only looking to convert and not to learn, but I have walked away from every conversation enriched. The body of Christ is divided and at every stop I see people from both sides of the issue coming together to heal it. These conversations can happen, mutually understanding can be attained, discourse happen, graciousness can be maintained, new truths on both sides can be found. And most importantly, a greater understanding of what it means to be human can be learned. I feel imensely blessed to be a part of this ride, to share my story and my faith, and to interact with every one of the students and administrators that I have met to date.

Too bad there's only two more weeks left...

Tis how we roll

I have been called queer. I have been called a faggot. I have been compared to Satan. I have been refused prayer. I have been asked to leave. I have been deemed unworthy to talk about faith. I have been refused entrance to worship. I have seen friends arrested for talking about Scripture. I have known people who have tried to kill themselves because they were taught being dead would be better. They know ones who have succeeded. I have observed silence in the face of real concerns. I have felt apathy concerning prejudice. I have had my love compared to adultery, pedophilia, incest, and bestiality. I have been told that just by being, I am sinning.

There are still places I am unwanted, still places I am unworthy, still place I am unwelcome, still places I am unsafe, still place I am unloved.

This is why we go.

Reactions from the school

I often hear from schools and individuals that don't wish to engage in dialogue with us that Soulforce and the Equality Ride is simply about protesting, about being in people's faces, about not respecting private property, about being a media spectacle, etc etc etc.

These things could not be further from the truth. And it is hard for me to even understand where these accusations are coming from when I get back from a campus, tired and sore, after 12 hours worth of spirit-filled dialogue.

If the Equality Ride is about anything, it is about frank and honest conversations where all parties can learn and be enriched. I'd like to share some reactions from students, faculty, and administrators after our visit:

"I appreciate greatly your integrity in the process of meeting us on campus."

"graciousness"

"appreciate the way you all have engaged our campus"

"impressed with how genuine" your desire for dialogue is

"I think it's been a good day"

Some people were expecting "narrow-minded, abrasive, and in your face--and you weren't that at all"

I think those kinda speak for themselves.

Justice, Peace, and Reconcilliation

We had our first and only day on campus today at Fresno Pacific University in Fresno, CA. FPU was founded by the Mennonite Brethren which places a strong emphasis on justice, peace, and reconciliation for scriptural and spiritual understanding of faith. I was interested to see how this would play out on a campus that refuses to recognize GLBT individuals as valid members of the Christian community.

I spent the first half of the day speaking with GLBT-affirming students, faculty, and administrators. Pressing them to do more to create safe spaces on their campuses for this discussion and for GLBT individuals. With over 1,200 students there must be gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people amongst them. Why don't they feel safe to be honest about who they are? I'm not sure if any of these supportive voices had taken the time to think about if they were being supportive enough. I trust many had and I hope that they will be inspired to continue these conversations and this discussion after we left.

Aaron and I were able to visit an Ancient Near East history class and really dig into the Old Testament clobber passages. We looked at Genesis 19, the Leviticus texts, touched on Eziekel and Judges, and really unpacked Ancient Israelite culture. It was personally enriching for me and I feel as if everyone walked away from that class knowing a whole lot more than they walked in with. The time seemed to fly by and I had to continue a few discussions after class.

Today really felt like the Equality Ride. I constantly observed groups of students talking with riders. They were clustered around our tables and pulling people aside. They were crashing out meals to continue the discussions and asking to get out of work or classes early to meet with us.

I spent the entire time after my 4:00 presentation, all through dinner, and even went to the debriefing session late to talk with one student in particular. I understand his view of religion and the Bible a lot better now and I hope and trust that he understands my experience as a gay Christian better as well. I also hope that he, and others that we spoke to today, are able to consider how they view the Bible and what they think it says, and really contrast that with how we as Equality Riders see the Bible and what we think it says. And to consider the perspective of the many other GLBT Christians in their community, churches, state, and nation.

We have much to learn about each other, about how we treat people, and how we serve our God. I hope that Fresno Pacific University continues to grow in their love and understanding of the GLBT community within and outside of their university and faith.

Video: Equality Ride returns to Brigham Young

As I’m sure everyone knows, this is the Equality Ride’s second time at Brigham Young. The administration again refused to negotiate on-campus dialogue. Stop organizers Matt and Kourt knew that students were ready and waiting to talk about these issues that are literally life-or-death for too many Mormons. They organized presentations, dinner meetings, and discussion groups for our three days in Provo, UT. I would estimate that over a hundred people participated in the events while we were there. The Equality Ride brings a much needed conversation to campuses unwilling to have it on their own.

On our last day there, we moved our events closer to campus. A six-hour march around campus to make ourselves readily available to students, a press conference at the main gates of the school to let the community know of BYU’s refusal to dialogue, and an evening rally in nearby Kiwanis Park to give a voice to the Brigham Young students.

Video Blog: Kourt speaks about the stop at Brigham Young University

As I’m sure you have already read, Brigham Young University was not receptive to the Equality Ride’s attempt at dialogue on campus about their policies and the sweeping implications therein. Stop organizers Kourt Osborn and Matt Kulisch collected over 55 pages of concerns and grievances regarding LGBT students at BYU. Many students personally know LGBT students who have suicided or attempted suicide because of their sexuality and the fear and disconnection generated by BYU and LDS policy and doctrine. These concerns are very real.

Kourt Osborn and his mother decided to bring these concerns on to campus when university administrators refused a meeting to discuss them. In the following video, Kourt speaks about his time during the events planned around the Brigham Young University campus.

Days Off

After a very busy two days at Pepperdine University, we were able to take some time off in the Bay Area. We spent the first day in much needed team building and planning time at a Lutheran church in Berkley. I'm still amazed by the outpouring of church support. This ride has been very powerful for me to observe the outpouring of support by straight "adults" and people of faith. I let myself believe that being gay was something that was a thing of the youth generation and that the only non-gay supporters were liberal atheists who supported anything (much love to my roommate Carson!). That is simply not true. This really is a human issue. It is so exciting to really come to a full appreciation of the amazing, God-inspired diversity that exists within the LGBT community.

We were able to journey into San Francisco on our second day. One stop was the Museum of GLBT History. We were able to look through decades worth of history. Correspondence between poets in the 20s, costumes from early performers, pictures from the original Pride parades. We were also able to pour over magazine articles and periodicals about homosexuality ("the homophiles" as it was once called) and religion. They were in between exhibits so there were no elaborate displays but they took us back into their archives which was very exciting.

We got to spend the rest of the day running around the city. Mike, Kelsey, Emil and I got some drinks at surf 'n' turf shop near the Warf and went to the Castro and Market Street for some window shopping (and a little actual shopping). We tried to stop by the San Francisco LGBT Community Center but were already running late so we had to skip it.

Today's afternoon was spent in at a park in Modesto hosted by the PFLAG chapter there. Followed by an appearance at MOFEST, the Modesto LGBT film festival. We were guests of honor of sorts, rolling up in our big bus. The first thing shown was an excerpt from the Equality U documentary, which still chokes me up. I think most everyone else had a similar reaction. It is always nice to meet up with local communities as we travel. It really puts a face to the reasons why we are out in the field.

Tomorrow is community outreach in the Fresno area and final preparations for our time at Fresno Pacific next week. I'm excited!

Equality Ride @ Pepperdine

I don't even know where to begin. We had 27 hours of events over the course of two days for our stop at Pepperdine. Jillian and I have been working together since January to plan this stop with Dean of Student Affairs Mark Davis and Associate Dean Tabatha Jones and it was beautiful to finally see it come to fruition.

Over the course of two days I saw Pepperdine students and administrators engaged in active dialogue about their school, their community, and how to respond to LGBT issues. To simply describe the events of the days would not do them justice.

Equality Riders listened to presentations by Pepperdine ministers and professors. Pepperdine students and administrators listened to presentations by Equality Riders. There was dialogue constantly. I was able to visit a religion class to talk about inclusive theology and afterwards spent over an hour wrestling with scripture at a table with two Pepperdine students. I got more hugs than I can remember; "Thank you for coming" "God Bless you for what you are doing" "I will never forget this"

I believe that though each person came to the events from a different place, they all came with the same intention: to learn, to love, and to grow. I know that there are capable students at Pepperdine to continue these conversations as we leave and I trust that the community will still have open hearts and minds to hear them and engage them.

Malibu GLEE will be meeting with administrators to talk about the possibility of becoming officially recognized. I hope this happens. A school cannot say that it values all students and continue to deny some of them a voice. I hope that there will be safe spaces for GLBT students and Christians to go and talk. I hope that pastors and professors will be mindful of their language. I hope that slurs and hate-speech will be meet with loving confrontation.

Pepperdine is a beautiful campus populated with beautiful people with beautiful spirits. It is alive and well and I can see that. What we accomplished at Pepperdine would not be possible if they had not already accomplished so much themselves. I trust that they will continue to grow in God's love and wisdom.

Outreach at BYU

Holy cow. Yesterday seemed like one long, never-ending blur as it was happening. We awoke early to visit UVSC (Utah Valley State College) and give presentations to their GSA. We were there for hours.... After a quick break it was off to the Provo Library (which, coincidentally used to be BYU so I guess in a way, we made it!) for a dinner hosted by LDS Family Fellowship (a Mormon PFLAG-type organization). I have learned that smiling parents really help make this trip bearable and I was excited for our Mormon riders that they had parents and members from other generations within their faith supporting them as well.

There was an hour-long panel presentation that I will be posting clips from later but what I really want to get to is what happened afterwards:

The progressive theology presentation was scheduled to give a shortened version of it "Ashley's Apt". We weren't really given any other information and I can't say that I didn't think it would just be a few friends of our LDS riders. I was SO wrong. I was the first person through the door when we arrived and I literally opened the door, took a step inside, took a step back, closed the door, said "Oh crap" to my groupmates, and then went in (yes, seriously).

The room was about the size of 3 hotel rooms (right now that is my only standard of measure) and it was literally PACKED full of BYU students. I had to wade my way through the crowd, the entire floor was covered, people were standing around the walls, and even opening the door was difficult that's how full it was.

Emily, Aaron, Jonathan, Brandon, and I gave a greatly shortened version of our Progressive Theology presentation but then quickly opened it up for questions as we were meeting with a weekly discussion group (their Wednesday meeting will be all about our visit!). I don't know why I am always so surprised to find that there are students who want to talk about these issues everywhere. Not everyone in attendance was in agreement with us, in fact, I would imagine most were not. But that didn't stop them from having questions, from having opinions, from wanting to learn more.

One student who completely disagrees with us says that he continues to come to these discussions because he believes it is important to "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." That is how we are all trying to participate in these discussions and I hope that it is working.

Unfortunately we didn't bring cameras as I don't think anyone was expecting the experience we had. I couldn't help but think throughout the meeting "I really want my camera right now."

We stayed until 10:30 when we had to return to our hotel, but I gladly would have stayed longer. We our having amazing converstaions with students at every school so far. We haven't even visited the BYU campus area yet and already we are engaging 100s of students in conversation on this issue. AHHHHHHHHH.... This is the stuff of college, this is the stuff of America.

I am so excited to be a part of these important conversations.

Video: Wisconsin Lutheran

The Westbound bus visited Wisconsin Lutheran on March 12-13. Six riders and two community members (one of whom was a local pastor) were arrested for talking with students on campus on the second day. Since then we have stopped in four more states and traveled through many others. We have been very busy in the time since then, but as I made this video and watched it all the way through for the first time, I was still chilled. I don’t think I will ever forget the icey reception we received or the pit in my stomach as I watched my close friends arrested for talking about the Bible with other Christians.

I hope you are equally moved.

Salt Lake City, UT

We're driving through Salt Lake. We keep seeing men in suits taking pictures and video. It is very eery.

Sent from Treo

MIdAmerica Nazarene: Day Two

Our second day at MidAmerica Nazarene picked up right where the first left off. We were treated to breakfast in the student center with our hosts and a number of other MNU students came in to join us. Afterwards we broke up to deliver presentations to classrooms and stayed in the library to talk with students who didn’t have class. The conversations gradually became more and more serious. I found it to be a terrific mix. Students wanted to get to know us as individuals but at the same time weren’t afraid of asking tough questions. We were able to challenge each other and I think everyone walked away from the experience enriched.

Before my group began our Progressive Theology presentation the professors began by announcing his class had been studying progressive theology through the four foundations of theology: scripture, tradition, reason, and experience. That was exactly our approach to the presentation! We were able to finish our presentation before the class period ended and fielded questions and concerns from the students. A few hung back afterwards to continue the discussions. One male student told Aaron that our presentation had totally changed the way he thought about homosexuality, that it forced him to throw out all of his preconceived notions about gay people, and think of the GLBT community in a new way.

As our visit to campus wrapped up, the key administrators met with us for debriefing. We shared our thoughts and experiences and offered suggestions on where to go from here. The common consensus amongst the Equality Riders was that MidAmerica Nazarene had modeled a Christlike response to outsiders. They didn’t have to abandon everything they believe in order to listen a viewpoint different from their own.

The MNU pastor thanked us for coming to campus, for pressing these issues, for making the students and administrators examine and develop their faith. They conceded that they might need to take a look at the wording of their policy to determine its appropriateness. We urged them to continue this conversation on their campus after we leave and to continue this conversation with us. I’m hopeful that they will!

And now… off to Denver

MidAmerica Nazarene: Refreshed

Today was just the day I needed. It stood in stark contrast to our time in Milwaukee outside the walls of Wisconsin Lutheran. This morning we traveled to nearby Kansas City, Missouri to take part in the "Tulips on Troost" project which aims to redefine the way people think of color on the infamous Troost Avenue which served as a racially segregating line in Kansas City. The contrast in house sizes, landscape grandeur, and upkeep quality is still very stark. We were able to plant a garden next to the project headquarters, cleanup trash on the street, and help out with the fundraising campaign. A local PFLAG chapter provided lunch for us and talking with the mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters of GLBT individuals was truly amazing. I loved hearing the personal journeys that each of them have taken.

This evening we visited MidAmerica Nazarene for the first time. We met the administrators who greeted us with smiles, handshakes, and fruit punch! Afterwards we met our hosts for the time on campus, were seated in tables with other students and administrators and heard a presentation on "A Christian Thing To Do" which outlined healthy and productive responses to GLBT friends and family. Afterwards we were able to talk amongst our tables. The students had many questions for us. They ranged in everything from how we knew we were gay, what it was like to be Christian and queer, what does transsexual mean, what are our families like, how did our parents respond, how do we know it's not sinful, and everything in between. When we finally had to wrap up we hugged, wished each other well for the evening, and got excited about continuing the conversations the next day.

I think each and every student is genuinely interested in hearing more of what we have to say. It was so refreshing! I know that many, if not most, of these students differ with us in their views on homosexuality but we were able to come together in fellowship. They truly modeled a Christlike response. I know that we will have even more productive conversations tomorrow. And I can't wait!

Wisconsin Lutheran: Drained

Yesterday, I was among the seven riders taken to a hotel on the outskirts of town to give a presentation to a gathering of university administrators and hand-picked student leaders. The administration greeted us with cold faces and stern voices. The students were much better. Talking to us, engaging us, listening to us. At the end of our presentation, the head pastor stood up, Bible in hand, and spewed condescension and hate at us for a solid 15 minutes. We rose in witness. I saw students tear up, I saw them turn away, I saw them bow their heads in prayer. They stayed after the administrators left the room and began speaking with us. It is clear these students want to have this discussion. It is unfortunate that they are not allowed to. Students were advised not to speak to us as we stood vigil for 8 hours on the sidewalk outside of their school. It was hard to feel Christ's love as we were passed with silent, unchanging faces.

Today we returned. We walked on to campus and were approached by the head of the security. He asked us to leave. We informed him that we were here to converse with the students who wanted to have this conversation. He told us he was calling the police. We had about 20 minutes to talk with students before the police arrive. A student who attended the presentation yesterday came out to see us and talked with Aaron and me for a bit. "I wish it didn't have to come to this. I wish we could have a conversation about this." Aaron and I agreed. She was later joined by one of her professors. We were able to talk about faith. To go deeper into the Scriptures. To discuss theology. To share our views. We challenged each other. Eventually Alexey informed us that the police had arrived and we had been given an official warning of trespass. The professor shook his head and said, "They shouldn't have done that." We exchanged tear-filled hugs and parted ways.

Six riders and two community members, one of whom is a pastor, stayed behind to continue the dialogue with the students. They got to spend 40 more minutes in the Word, talking about Christ and God and faith with these students who were so eager to hear it. Justin, Emil, and Kourt were eventually interacting with a group of close to 30 students by the time the police had to arrest them. Students cried at the oppressive action their school was taking. We were exchanging in civil Christian discourse with fellow believers. Why is that wrong?

The remaining riders returned to the sidewalk and held vigil on either side of the driveway as the arrests took place. I cried every time a police vehicle filled with my amazing, spirit-filled friends, drove past. Where is Christ in this?

One student joined us in the line, another texted Matt Kulisch "God bless you all."

This is why we go.

Mobile Update: Wisconsin Lutheran

Wisconsin Lutheran is in the process of having six riders arrested for talking to students and professors. The students are continuing the conversations until the riders are forced to leave.

Sent from Treo

Memorial at Notre Dame

On Thursday March 9, the Equality Riders were allowed on to campus to attend mass and interact with students. They were given no official platform, were instructed not to speak with groups, and were forbidden from passing out any supplementary information. When Riders were seen giving information about the days events to students when requested, they were cited for trespassing and required to leave.

The following day, the Equality Riders returned to lay a memorial wreath at the statue of Notre Dam alum Tom Dooley, a gay military commander. They were led by student Eddie Velasquez. Jonathan will be blogging about the experience later. Here is a video documenting Notre Dame’s response.

Wrapping up in South Bend

Honoring GLBT Catholics silenced by the University and the Church


Six riders were arrested today for bringing three wreaths onto the Notre Dame campus to honor GLBT students and alumni
who have been silenced by the University and the Church. One was to be placed at the statue of Tom Dooley, a gay military commander and ND alum, and two at the prestine Grotto, a place of prayer and reflection. The Equality Riders never reached their destination but student Eddie Valasquez, accompanied by his friend, carried the wreath to Tom Dooley's statue.

This evening, I received an email from a Notre Dame student with whom I had interacted with during our time on and off campus. This is what he wrote:

Dear Brian,

I cannot truly express how thankful I am that the equality ride stopped at Notre Dame. Though a few friend of my friends know I'm gay and have been extremely supportive, I still have to put on a facade of a straight man in my classes, in public areas and around other friends. Having yall here on campus gave me confidence in myself and the person I am. I chose to come to Notre Dame for its strong catholic identity, since i was raised catholic all my life, and because of the Marching Band. I came out here at Notre Dame because 1) I was away from my family, and 2) I wanted to be myself. Unfortunately, the campus is very conservative so the second one is a little tough.

I applaude you and the rest of the riders for the wonderful work you are doing. I wish yall the best for your other experiences at other campuses. Thanks to you I have actually decided to go to mass this sunday, which i have not been to in the past 6 months.

Let the rest of the team know how much grateful I am for meeting yall, and i will pray for yall for a safe travel.

With tons of love for all the riders,

He will be in my thoughts throughout the rest of this ride, reminding me of the importance of this endeavour.

Reflections on Yesterday

At 10:00am we made our way onto Notre Dame campus, escorted by a gay student and trailed by campus police. We interacted with a few students outside the Basilica before going inside for Mass. Jennifer and Landon joined me and it was amazing to worship with them. Looking around at the ornate decorations and observing the millenia old tradition, all of my old qualms with Catholicism swelled up inside of me. But as I observed the late attendees enter and kneel before making their way across the row or worshipers lift their hands in prayer, I realized that there was a deep faith working here too. No religion is perfect--mine an Catholicism both included--but God is. And where his followers come together to celebrate the Divine, there it is too.

Emil and I got lunch with Jennifer and Landon before listening to two Notre Dame students speaking about their experience being gay and lesbian at the school. Kelsey and Deflin shared their own stories about growing up Catholic and the pain of being excluded from the church.

The riders milled about afterwards for awhile. I gave Jennifer and Landon information about the off-campus event we were holding later in the day. I also gave a student the same information. Emil gave his friend some more information. For that act, we were given official notices of trespassing and asked to leave the campus.

As I walked away I felt a little uneasy. Should we have not handed anything out (even when asked) and stayed on campus to stay. I wasn't sure. That evening, the Notre Dame student came to our function at the Zion United Church of Christ. Any doubt I had earlier was immediately vanquished. He also met up with us at the local cafe for lunch. And brought a friend to the film screening this afternoon.

It was worth it.

Mobile Update

Notre Dame arrested 6 riders and threatened a student with immediate suspension for bringing wreaths in memorial of silenced GLBT NDers

Sent from Treo

Tresspass Notice

You are hereby notified that you are on private property owned by the Universirt of Notre Dame. As a private property holder, the University has the right to tell you that you are not wanted on university property.

By copy of this notice, the university official named below is providing you with written warning that you must leave, and not return to, any property owned by the university. If you should be found on university property in the future, you will be arrested for criminal trespass. A copy of this notice will be retained by the university for that purpose.

After mass and lunch today I gave my friends Jennifer and Landon a map to the local church where we will be having a function later tonight. Shortly after I spoke with a gay student who expressed his excitement that we had come to his campus. He's allowed to be out he says, but it is uncomfortable everywhere. He told me that he feels uncomfortable speaking in classes. For the first time, I understood that being silenced for being gay was real. A university official informed me that I was not allowed to pass out information to students and since I had done that, I would be officially warned for trespassing.

Rider Justin Hager gave a student a pin when, upon seeing her friend wearing one, she asked him for one. He was asked to leave.

Rider Emil Pohlig gave a gay student more information about our events tonight. He was asked to leave.

Two Notre Dame students who spoke to a group of other students in the Student Center had their information taken down for possible disciplinary action.

The First Morning

As I sit in my hotel room, waiting for my other roommates to finish getting ready so that we can go down to breakfast together, I'm not sure if the reality of the Equality Ride has set in yet. Yes I went to Austin, TX and Minneapolis, MN for two weeks of training. Yes I drove on a bus for 12 hours, through 4 states to arrive at my destination. Yes I have already talked to my Notre Dame friends who I will get to see in only a short time. But somehow, it still doesn't feel real yet.

I think that is a blessing. I have never known overt homophobia. I have never been scared at my school. At all times, even if I ran into a bump or two along the way, I was surrounded with support systems. I do not have any experiences that might help fully understand the spiritual void that I am about to step into.

I do however know that this must be done. I remember experiencing the change that Rebecca's friend experienced when he came to Los Angeles with her for the Notre Dame football game. He shouldn't have to travel across the country to feel good in his own skin. He shouldn't have to leave his school and his faith community.

If we can start making other students think about this, maybe change is possible. If we can visualize a world in which all of God's children all loved and accepted, exactly as the Creator made them, we can create it.

I pray that students would be open to us. I don't pray that they would be "converted" to our message. Rather I pray that their hearts would be open to our hearts. That we can listen to each other's stories. That we can learn from each other. That we can connect on a basic human level. And when that happens, I'm confident that everyone will agree that oppression of any of God's children is an unacceptable travesty.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

And so it begins

After a much delayed start due to a oh-so-beautiful Minneapolis snow storm, Equality Ride training is up and running full steam ahead. We've been training for two days and I don't even know where to begin. We are accomplishing so much so quickly that it all seems like one big blur. I wonder what it will all look like in a few months when I look back with perspective.

Today was eye-opening in a lot of ways. Peterson Toscano spoke about his 17-years in the ex-gay movement. It was moving to have a personal story to hear in contrast to the personal stories of the ex-gay leaders. He challenged us/they to find one person who has been out of the movement for over five years who isn't a leader, staff, or volunteer. He's never met one.

The latter half of the day was spent with non-violence training. Rev Phil Lawson spoke to us about his experiences as a leader during the civil rights movement and biblical basis for non-violent ministry and social justice action. Having an outsider, a heterosexual, an adult, a civil rights leader, a minister speak to me about the Equality Ride and of its importance will be reassuring to remember when we are being attacked on campuses and told that we aren't "real" Christians.

We also spent substantial time dealing about the realities of confrontation that we will face on these campuses. While we come to engage in dialogue, there is always a possibility that we will be met with violence; be it physical or verbal. We had to simulate verbal attacks on our fellow riders (and be the recipients of it as well). Growing up in Washington, DC and going to school in Los Angeles I have been sheltered from any sort of real personal attacks so it was especially unnerving to hear such awful things being said to and about people I already care so much about. What is worse is that there are people in this world who hear those things all of the time.

Emotions were running as people struggled to hear themselves being the perpatrators of such verbal violence but at the same time, I think we now have a more human perspective of our "adversaries" and can understand what they must be going through a little better.

There's so much to absorb and digest and out of respect for all of the riders, I think I'm going to have to make that a personal process. Our task is weighty, but so important.

Delays

Despite assurances from the agents in LA to the contrary, my connecting flight from Phoenix to Minneapolis was cancelled. I have a "flight" "booked" for tomorrow afernoon. Here's to hoping that doesn't get cancelled as well.

A 2006 Equality Rider should be able to put me up tonight. But for now, I'm making myself comfortable on the floor.

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Departure

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

I remember the very first time my mother taught me that verse. It was at YoungLife's Windy Gap camp in North Carolina. It made an indelible impression on me and I often go back to that verse in Issiah for strength.

As it turns out, that verse is also Meilee's favorite verse. And today, as my mom did so many years ago, she told it to me to give me courage. I carry them both (and the countless other friends who continue to support me) with me as I board my plane and venture into the great unknown.

Lord, give me strength. And here I go!

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