Get non-violence training before Saturday's rally!

Join The Impact NYC Rally

As you may have heard, a grassroots movement called Join The Impact has sprung up in the days since the election to organize rallies in every state in the union on Saturday November 15 for the cause of LGBT equality. A gathering in New York City is scheduled for 1:30 PM at City Hall. While this is not a SFNYC organized event, I will be there and I hope to see you there as well! We recognize that marriage is not a city issue, however city halls are traditional gathering places for communities, and it is fitting for us to gather there as others across the country do the same. We are not protesting the city but rather standing up and being counted--that we are passionate about the cause of justice for LGBTQ people, that discrimination in all forms is unbefitting of our society, that gay relationships should be supported equally with straight ones, and also to remind ourselves that the journey for LGBT equality does not begin nor end with marriage.

Non-Violence Training at 11:30

In preparation for the rally, Micah and I will be leading a non-violence training for Soulforce NYC. This will cover non-violence of the heart, communication messaging, and courageous responses to violent action. Marble Collegiate Church, located at 29th St & 5th Ave, has graciously opened their building to us for this occasion. We will meet from 11:30 AM - 1:00 PM before traveling to City Hall together to arrive by 1:30 PM.

We hope that if you are planning on attending the rally, that you will join us for this training so that we can be prepared to boldly confront this important issue.

Feel free to invite your friends.

See you this Saturday!
Facebook event information here.

Finding The Next Step

One of my best friends Micah writes today,

i don't want to protest the mormon church.

i don't want to protest city hall (i'll be there on saturday because i think it's important to stand in solidarity and be counted, i just think there are better messaging strategies).

i want to be intentional. i want my actions to make sense. i want to identify and address the source rather than the effects of oppression.

i want connection, narrative, humanity.

vulnerability, integrity, conviction.

i want to do something radical: i want to live my beliefs.

I know that we are both racking our hearts, minds, and souls to find our next steps. There is a part of me that is reacting to a great hurt caused by Proposition 8; but equally there is a recognition that this longing and these next steps are larger than any piece of legislation. My pastor Rev. Lewicki reflected on the movement between inward- and outward-focused energy in the life of faith. It feels as if I'm standing on the edge between inward-focused study, reflection, meditation, and preparation and outward-focused faith in action.

Where are you in life today? Inward-focused or outward-focused? And what do you want? What steps are do you feel called to that are perhaps not the steps you're used to?

Marriage Rally in NYC

A demonstration in response to California's Proposition 8 will occur this Wednesday at 6:30 PM in front of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Temple in Manhattan. While over five million Californians voted in favor of Proposition 8, the LDS temple has been selected because the church officially urged members to donate time and money to the cause, estimates place donations from LDS members at 40-80% of total donations. As you may have heard, rallies have taken place across California, including one at the LA LDS temple; recently a protest was staged at Temple Square in Salt Lake City, UT. We feel it is important for you to know of this gathering in New York City, especially since religious rhetoric directly fueled support for Proposition 8.

I want to make it clear that Mormons are not our enemy. Many of my Mormon friends publicly opposed Proposition 8, giving their time, talent, and money for LGBT equality. In the aftermath of Proposition 8, a straight Mormon friend of mine held a sign reading "Churches can repent too," outside of his temple. Seeking Forgiveness is a blog featuring letters of apology from Mormons across the country, repenting on behalf of their church. You can read an open apology to the gay community here.

We understand that misinformation and misunderstanding--not individuals--are the sources of injustice against LGBT people. These rallies and protests can be a necessary and productive way for us to express our hurt, anger, and disappointment; they also serve to bring us together as a community. It is my hope that as you participate in the rally at the LDS temple, that you will bring with you a spirit of reconciliation. Use this rally as a place to express your deep and sincere hurt. The pain is real, let us grieve. And as we grieve, let us open up doors to justice; enrolling all people: gay and straight, Christian and atheist, Mormon or not, in the pursuit of of LGBT equality.

We invite you to use this rally as a conversation starter for friends and co-workers, to let it be your first step in activism, to use it as a catalyst for your friend's first steps into activism, as a place to grieve, as a place to be inspired. I invite you read and consider the journey into soulforce and the pledge to non-violence as you prepare for the rally this Wednesday.

Prop 8 Protest in New York City

Peaceful demonstration Wednesday night, November 12, 6:30 pm, New York Manhattan Mormon Temple, 125 Columbus Ave at 65th Street, New York, NY:

" Tens of thousands of our brothers and sisters are in the streets in California and Salt Lake City and around the country protesting the votes banning same-sex marriage in California. Join them! Make your voices heard right here in New York City. We will tell the Mormon Church how we feel about its relentless campaign to condemn and control our lives. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was, by far, the biggest financer of California's heinous and hateful Proposition 8. The Mormon Church begged their members to donate money to Prop 8, pouring 20 million dollars into the campaign. And their attacks on us didn't start there and aren't about to end. They're plotting right now to bring their money and influence to bear against the LGBT community everywhere in this country, including trying to prevent marriage equality in New York. "

Facebook event: http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=57450719688

This rally is not the only way to be active in the pursuit of justice for LGBT people. As the reality of Proposition 8 sets in, many of us are looking for new ways to become involved. Please email me at brian@sfnyc.org to find ways to engage the issues, change hearts and minds, and create equality!

Equality Wins

"The night I took the vote in June, I was told I would never be elected again. I'm running unopposed." -- New York Republican Assemblywoman, Teresa Sayward, on her vote for marriage equality

I Still Look Up

Tourists are the ones looking up. There's an adage which says you can identify the New Yorkers as the ones unconcerned with their surroundings; tourists are distracted by the lights, the smells, the sights, the sounds of New York City. For residents, this glamorous city is really rather ordinary. Or, perhaps, we are really rather fabulous.

I'm not sold. As I wandered through midtown tonight, making my way to the Times Square subway stop to catch the 7 train into Queens, I caught myself equally as mesmerized by the flashing lights as the tourists I pretend to begrudge. For as much as I consider myself at home in this city, I still find myself caught in awe every now and then. When tourists are posing for pictures, I offer to help take their pictures. It's my part to dispel the image of angry New Yorkers but it's also an opportunity to share in a carefree moment of happiness. Growing up in DC, going to school in Los Angeles, and now working in New York, I've bounced from one American metropolis to another. City life should be old hat but the lights still dazzle. I take for granted that I'm one or two degrees of separation from almost everyone in the entertainment industry, yet I still get excited when I walk past a Law & Order crew... even though I'm friends with the VP in charge!

Perhaps this is the case with everyone, a life that is simultaneously extravagant and ordinary. I still remember the first time I saw myself on the news. Equality Ride training was wrapping up in Austin, TX and we went out dancing after a fundraiser when news coverage of our event appeared on the television screens. It was surreal.

I was asked to pose for picture at almost every stop during the Equality Ride. I remember walking to the grocery store in Rexburg, ID when a young lady ran from her job at a fast food restaurant jumping and waving, calling our attention. I was often told "I'm so impressed with the work you do," "I could never do this," "What you do so important." I've been asked to speak at Carnegie Mellon University and Marble Church and even still I get messages on social networking sites wanting to say hello, to talk with an Equality Rider.

And yet I can't escape the feeling of ordinariness. Only a month before Equality Ride I was sitting in my apartment eating Papa John's pizza and singing along to Comcast karaoke with my roommate Ryan and our friend Carolyn. I didn't do much, I just showed up. Of course, I don't intend to discount the incredible work the Equality Ride does. It is an exhausting, time consuming, agonizing, taxing, rewarding, and surreal experience. It took a great deal of training and preparation and an equal amount of debriefing. But at the same time, at the end of the day, I'm a young man who saw an opportunity to make a difference and took it.

And that's where I find myself today. A rather ordinary person doing rather extraordinary things. Serving the young adults community at my church, steering Soulforce NYC, working at a national television network, and traveling all over the country to do so; but living every day guided by small and simple decisions. Practicing non-violence, choosing to love, searching for faith, taking small steps towards justice, find beauty and value in the smallest of opportunities.

I'm a New Yorker now, the buzz of the Big Apple has become routine, but I still look up.

Uncomfortable Anxiousness

With the California Supreme Court decision for marriage equality less than an hour away, I am uncomfortably anxious. In the past weeks, I have responded that I am "cautiously optimistic" when asked my thoughts on the case. Soon, I will be either excited or disappointed.

Having spent four years in California, I feel invested in this decision. As with the Maryland court case, I am reminded of the interesting position I find myself. Men and women I do not know will determine the validity of my relationships. Ability to form long-term relationships, affect on children, influence on the political climate ... very personal parts of my life are up for public debate.

It is uncomfortable for me and in that uncomfortable place I find strength. It is uncomfortable for the "Arab looking" man who is always stopped at airport security. It is uncomfortable for the black youth getting suspicious glances from subway patrons. It is uncomfortable for the female presidential candidate who is called a conniving bitch while all the men are bold and determined leaders.

And so today, I will not let this decision define me. If it is positive, I will celebrate and if it is negative, I will take a moment to grieve. But always I will continue striving for a world in which justice rolls down like water.

Talking About The Ts or Activism In Daily Life

Yesterday was Transgender Day of Remembrance and I felt called to be vocal about it with my co-workers. My company's non-discrimination policy does not cover sexual orientation or gender identity but luckily for me, New York state's legislation includes sexual orientation. I composed an email explaining the Day of Remembrance, listing those people remembered this year, and explaining the pending national hate crimes legislation. I also gave information about employment non-discrimination and how gender identity isn't yet covered under NY law--though, hopefully it will be soon! I concluded by telling them ways they could help out: by contact their elected officials regarding hate crimes and GENDA, by contacting my parent company about revising the non-discrimination policy, or by creating our own separate policy.

It was scary.

Having braved Equality Ride and even the Right to Marry campaign, one might think I've got it down. But I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous as I prepared to press send. It is important and it needs to be said and so I hit send.

Today I Became a New Yorker

Leaving work a little later than usual tonight, I was on the B train heading down to Bryant Park to make my transfer to the 7 to go home. The subway pulled up to Rockefeller Center and there were 50-some girls in Macy's Thanksgiving Parade jackets just waiting to get on. I noticed all the heads in the train turn to look at at the girls. The doors opened, the girls hesitated, and then the streamed through three different doors. Moments later the center aisle of my subway car was filled with teen girls in white winter jackets. The contrast between the black- and gray-clothed New Yorkers lining the sides of the car struck me immediately.

And as the girls filled in and the train began to move, I had more than one silent-conversation with locals around me. We glanced about the train looking to catch the knowing eye of another New Yorker. I noticed others doing it too. We nodded and smiled to each other, all likely thinking the same thing: "The tourists have arrived."

It's going to be an interesting winter!

Public Privacy

It's a typical Thursday morning. I put my sunglasses on as I leave the house, pop in my earbuds and turn on my iPod, and walk a few blocks to the subway. I go down the stairs and take my place by the tracks. I try to smile at the person standing next to me. Then I fish out my book from my bag. Right now I'm reading another C.S. Lewis book, occasionally I pull out the latest version of The Advocate. The train comes, I manage to find a spot; sometimes standing, sometimes sitting. I smile at my new subway mates and if the train lurches or takes a fast corner, I will occassionally make a comment or two to the people standing near me. I try to be friendly.

Today was different. As I stood on the subway, music playing so loudly I couldn't hear any of the sounds around me, I noticed a passenger who looked surprisingly like my fellow Equality Rider Cray. I wondered to myself what Cray was up to. Then I wondered what this guy was up to. Was he anything like Cray? Where did he work? To my left stood a young man in a baseball cap, also wearing earphones. To my right were two guys with dress shirts, one read a newspaper, other listened to music. The woman in front of me sipped Starbucks while watching something on a portable media player. They all have lives and stories and even though I'm so close to them, I know nothing about them. And we've all setup our private sanctuaries in the middle of the bustling New York City subway.

New York City

Even though qubo was gracious enough to give me five-weeks off after stopping work in LA and resuming work in New York City, I managed to consume all but a few days of that with the Right to Marry Campaign, my Epic Journey Into Adulthood across the country with Meilee, my cousin's wedding, and of course catching up with all of the Potomac crew.

I was able to get a studio in a beautiful building in Long Island City, but unfortunately the lease doesn't begin in until September 7. An old friend from USC has an extra room in her apartment in Brooklyn which I was planning on moving into for interim until some friends in the new building found out last minute they'd be able to let me crash there.

As I went back to the Brooklyn apartment near Prospect Park, some 45 minutes from my Manhattan, to fetch my belongings I couldn't help but feel a sense of privilege. I was lucky enough to have friends in nice neighborhoods where I could stay. I didn't have to shop in stores where the cashiers are in the back to help prevent robbery. I didn't have to live where cabs won't drive. I'm sure a lot of people in this neighborhood are there because they want to be there. It's a heavily Jamican area and I felt a strong sense of community. In fact, I got more "hello"s and "how are you doing"s from strangers in the short times I was there than the rest of my time in Manhattan. Still, graffiti and stalled cars line the alley while buildings sit in disarray. It's not the way I would want to live ... and I got out. It seemed like I was running away.

As I travel about the city via subway, I'm reminded of what Amy B-M once said. That to truly experience a city you can't just drive around in it, you have to walk, take buses, and ride the subway. This is the first time I've lived in a place where I have been able to do that. I already understand what she means. I wonder what I would've learned if I stayed in Brookyln for those three weeks. But at the same time, would I just be paying understanding lip-service? With a degree from USC under my belt, a home in Potomac only a few hour away, and friends with posh apartments who could come fetch me, would I ever really understand?

I don't know, but I'd like to find out. I'd like to do understand not so I can pat myself on the back for a job well done or so I'll have a good story to tell around the dining room table. But so I can learn something I didn't know before. I've already learned that it's not that hard to ask a stranger how they are and really mean it, I wonder what else is waiting for me to learn out there.


More on qubo, the apartment, adventures with new friends, and of course the Epic Journey later. For now, I'm going to fall asleep listening to Rufus Wainwright, looking at the Manhattan skyline from across the river, and digesting my tofu stir fry. It was a good day.

This Is About Love

I could try to write some eloquent introduction for this video but I could not possibly do it justice. Thank-you Milfred for your contribution to our country, your state, and this important conversation.

Right to Marry comes to a close

The New York Right to Marry campaign is coming to a close. The Northern Route said goodbye to Utica, New York this morning and arrived in New York City not too long ago. Tomorrow brings a day of tying up lose ends, following up with the folks we met along the way, debriefing our experiences, and planning for the future. I'm excited to meet up with the 24 other young adults if only for a day.

As my van traveled through the North Country, we documented our progress and the stories of some of those we met along the way. Some of the Right to Marry participants already shared their thoughts on why marriage is important (here and here) and soon we'll have the stories of New York citizens and couples to share with you too.

For now, here's a look at our time up north:

Video: Right to Marry kicks off in New York

By now we are a few days into the New York Right to Marry campaign. With grassroots activism comes limited resources and internet isn't a top priority. Luckily we've been blessed with houses and churches who have internet to share and here in Plattsburg, we found a great coffee shop--Koffee Kat--to sit in and work while talking with locals and of course, drinking some coffee!

I sat down with a few RtM participants before we departed Albany to talk about why marriage matters. Here's what they have to say:

Equality Ride flashback in Albany, NY

After an exciting, albeit wet, day at the Saratoga County Fair, the western van joined up with Albany’s MCC church for an evening forum featuring a documentary screening, discussion of our work ahead, and sharing of stories. I for one was very encouraged to meet the locals of Albany and hear their stories. As our evening was winding down, four young adults made their way into Emmanuel Baptist Church. The conversation quickly moved from marriage equality to Biblical morality as we cleared out of the church.

Read more over at the Soulforce blog.

Walk a mile in my shoes

Senate Majority Leader Bruno refused requests to meet with our van though we have been trying to schedule a meeting for a long time now. Instead we were able to meet with a staff member who graciously listened, nodded, and suggested we keep the conversation going across the state. We will certainly be doing that in the next few weeks. At the same time, I am dismayed. As a future New Yorker, I look to my leaders to do what is right, even when that is unpopular. I appreciate our representative democracy which was designed to protect the rights of the minority from the whims of the majority.

My civil rights are not subject to debate and popular vote.

I look forward to a time when the leaders of our country will protect all of this nation's citizens. I am hopeful that Senator Bruno will be one of those leaders or at least allow the marriage equality bill to be heard on the senate floor.

In the meantime, I ask Senator Bruno to walk a mile in my shoes and to imagine what life would be like were he unable to wed. In doing so, I am confident that he, other senators, and all Americans will understand the importance of extending marriage rights to all individuals.

As my friends, acquaintances, or Internet readers, I urge you to ask Senator Bruno the same thing. Please find a pair of worn-out shoes you may have, write on a postcard why marriage equality is important to you—that you want to marry your girlfriend, that your parents aren't protected under the law, that your gay brother needs to live in a world where he can dare to dream of falling in love and marrying—and send that along with your shoes to Senator Bruno:

Senator Joseph L. Bruno
Legislative Office Building, Rm: 909
Albany, NY 12247

Please, walk a mile in my shoes.

If you send a pair of shoes, take a picture of your shoes and forward them to me so that we can keep track!