Voluntary Redemptive Suffering

The president of Yellowstone Baptist College has been refusing to allow dialogue on campus. Despite numerous requests from stop organizer Emil Pohlig to come to some sort of agreement, he was steadfast in his stance: we were not welcome.

This is not something new, we are too familiar with rejection. It is especially painful when such rejection comes from Christians--those who follow Christ, the one who spread His arms so wide open the political and religious authorities had him executed. Today was no different. With winds blowing at 20mph, rain pouring from the cloudy sky, and mud spraying up from cars driving by, we walked from our bus to the entrance of the college.

"Welcome to Montana, I guess this is just what you're up against," the president said as he greeted us at the front gates. Emil asked him to reconsider: we would really appreciate some time on campus to talk with him and students. He refused. Jillian asked if he we could simply join with them in worship, to get out of the cold and the rain. He again refused. "I wish the weather was better for you, but you cannot come in."

I was floored. I tried to imagine standing on the sidewalk with Jesus. Cold, windworn, soaking wet, tired, rejected. What would he have to say to me? "No you cannot rest." "No you cannot worship." "No I will not shelter you." "No I will not feed you." Somehow I doubt it. I imagine Jesus standing there, "Come in my child, for you are tired and cold. Come in and find rest in me. Come in and talk with me. Come in and share your life with me." As the president turned his back and walked away, I was distraught at the sad state of affairs.

For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me. ... I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.
Matt 25:42-43, 45

We stayed outside the college for six hours today, holding lilies of peace and Bible verses which we were drawn to. I tried for the life of me to remember a particular verse from Mr. McKinnon's sixth grade Sunday school class and I could remember most of the memory verses except for the one I wanted. I eventually settled on Romans 13:10 "[And whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule; 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'] Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Every Christian can probably quote verses about loving your neighbor, but I find this verse particularly helpful because it outlines a specific character of love: that it does no harm to its neighbor.

When I woke up this morning, I finally remembered the verse I'd been thinking of:

1 Timothy 4:12 "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young; but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."

It was a long day, it was a cold day. But I and the other riders set an example for believers. In speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity. And thus, it was a good day.

Rude Awakenings

We awoke this morning to find the side of our bus smathered in paintballs.

I sit on the bus now as the police clean our bus. It has been a pleasure working with the chief of police; his support warms me on this rainy morning.

"I wish you safe journey and I'm glad you stopped in Rexburg"

And now we drive to Billings.

Sent from Treo

Playing in the park

I just returned from our community picnic in Porter Park, Rexburg, ID. The turnout was very encouraging. There were students, community members young and old, and even some families. I was able to speak with a few students and had the joy of listening to a straight freshman talk about how he tries to be supportive to his gay friends, both LDS and non-LDS. A positive effect I have noticed first hand is that Equality Ride helps to pull the supporters out of the woodwork. They are able to realize they aren't the only ones who hold differing opinions. And when they find us, it enables us to put students in contact with them!

If there are any students at schools on the Equality Ride route or in nearby communities, I'd be happy to put you in contact with supportive peers and parents in the area

Conversations in the Latter Days: Our time at Brigham Young University Idaho

BYU-Idaho, like BYU in Provo, refused to let us on to campus. We were still able to have a highly successful day in Rexburg nonetheless. There is a public road that goes into campus which we were able to be on. We stood in vigil outside of the campus, holding pictures of our families--a fundamental part of the LDS faith, yet something that is being torn apart by school policy and church doctrine regarding LGBT people.

Throughout the day we had riders standing at the intersection, greeting students as they went to and from the dorms and their classes. Despite harsh letters from the administrators, there were still students willing to stop and talk with us. In fact, many came out specifically to talk to us. To me, this demonstrates an immense bravery on the part of the students. They are so thirsty for this conversation that they are willing to risk disciplinary action from the administration (who had posted security guards to watch who was talking to us). One of them walked past the vigil line and said, "Hello Jillian, how are you today?" It was a very surreal day.

I found that many of these students simply had not stopped to consider what they had been taught about sexual orientation and gender identity. I know that many people walked away with "lots to think about." I was among them. I learned even more about the LDS faith than I had from Emil, Mike, and Matt thus far. And I really learned to examine what I believe in and why. I learned to listen. And I got to meet dozens of new people.

Among the students who stopped to talk with us were some wrestling with their sexual orientation or gender identity. For their protection, I won't describe the conversation other than to say it is unfortunate that these students must continue to suffer in silence within the walls of their institution. I am thankful for every conversation I had. And I am hopeful that other GLBT students felt affirmed simply by our presence, even if they could not bring themselves to talk with us.

Today we decided not to return to campus in light of the events at Virginia Tech. We wanted to process and mourn amongst ourselves and allow BYU-ID to do the same. As I walked to the local grocery store with a few other riders, we went past The Backyard--a restaurant near our hotel. We heard someone say "Are you with Soulforce?" We looked and found an employee who was walking in to the building. We said yes and she literally jumped for joy, screamed, and gave me a big hug. She tried to meet up with us yesterday she said, but couldn't find us. We told her about the picnic at Porter's park tonight at 5:00pm and she's going to come!

Six weeks into the ride, I would think that I would stop having "Wow, that just made this all worth it" moments. But I still have them. This trip has been worth it so many times over already, and I'm sure with our upcoming stops we will continue to impact even more lives.

And now it's time for me to leave for the park!

Madame Speaker...

On Monday, April 16, 2007, the Honorary Jerrold L Nadler (D- New York) stood before the House of Representatives and made this formal address, which has been logged in congressional record.

"Madame Speaker, I rise today to pay tribute to an extraordinary group of young adults - - The Equality Riders - - who have dedicated two months of their lives traveling thousands of miles, visiting 32 colleges and universities around the country and talking to countless students, faculty members and staff in pursuit of social justice.

The spirit of The Equality Ride was born out of the recognition that homophobia is globally pervasive and that no country, state, city, community or school escapes its reach. The Equality Ride offers a unique opportunity for student activists to dedicate their time and energy in the pursuit of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered equality through the practice of nonviolent resistance and educational campaigns.

I embrace the spirit of The Equality Ride and these leaders in the fight for social justice. The participants of the Equality Ride as well as its supporters have changed numerous lives, raised awareness and challenged notions regarding homosexuality through both on and off campus activities.

While conducting their work on the various campuses, riders confront some of their harshest critics and engage in structured dialogue with the academic community through classroom presentations, panel discussions, school-wide forums and film screenings as well as informal interactions. Outside of the college and university campuses, communities have welcomed the riders to share in worship, potlucks, fundraisers and meetings.

I applaud these riders and their supporters who have tirelessly waged a campaign of truth based on the nonviolent practices of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi to end the cycle of fear and misunderstanding that causes this vicious form of prejudice. As the Chairman of the Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Rights and Civil Liberties, it is my great honor to pay tribute to these visionary young people and congratulate them on their courage, determination and dedication."

Ripples

I found this blog today. Weeks after we pulled away from the George Fox campus, the positive effects of our visit are still being felt in the community at large. And I am encouraged.

It's good to remember how often Quakers are tender people. Last week, for instance, I shared with A., in my meeting, the story of the encounter between Soul Force and George Fox University. I knew that I had been moved by the story. But to watch A. respond with brimming eyes and a face full of tenderness... I was moved by how readily he was moved.

This is why we go.

Catching Up

A lot has happened since my last blog and I apologize for that. We've already been to Portland. Seattle, and Nampa and are now situated in Rexburg, ID. I visited George Fox in Oregon, Seattle Pacific in Seattle, and Northwest Nazarene in Nampa, ID.

Before our arrival at George Fox, Kelsey's YoungLife leader from high school, Steve Sherwood, contacted her--he now teaches there. Before our stop at Seattle Pacific, Stef Shaffer, one of my YL leaders did too--she now works at SPU part-time while going to grad school nearby. It was encouraging to have their support and encouragement. I was one of the visitors to Steve's class and was able to speak with his wife afterwards. "God is already using you in amazing ways, we'll continue to pray for you." I don't think I ever would have imagined hearing those words in high school. I am supremely encouraged to know that there are supportive voices out there interacting with young people at such an important time in their personal and spiritual development.

Stef took Emil and I out to coffee on our first day in Seattle and we had a terrific time catching up on everything that has happened in the past few years. Stef has been thinking of me a lot as she has been following the ride, hoping that it isn't taking a tool on me and praying for my continued strength. She also made a point to come out to the presentations on campus.

Out time at Seattle Pacific University exceeded my wildest expectations. Haven and I gave a presentation on Genesis at 10am that was attended by well over 200 students. They filled every chair, sat in the aisles, perched on the window ledges, and crammed into the doorways. I was told by a reporter that an estimated 100 students had gathered outside, just listening since there was no room inside. After our presentation and a short response from an Old Testament scholar the questions began. "When did you become gay?" "How do you reconcile your sexual orientation with Scripture?" "Are you more at risk medically?" "Where do you find yourself in Scripture?" I believe we had positive answers for all of them and the presentation concluded with a standing ovation. I was nearly mobbed afterwards by students who wanted to hear more, who had new questions, who wanted to follow-up. There is a thirst for this conversation. I am so thankful that SPU decided to host it and I am hopeful that other universities on out route will do the same thing. These students are well equipped to wrestle with important theological issues...especially when the consequences are nothing short of a person's humanity.

Northwest Nazarene presented its own challenges. The administration there also allowed us on campus, and they made sure to remind us of that. I think they were surprised at the turn-out to both of our presentations. I was told that at least one remarked "we weren't expecting this many students to come." During our meals and in between presentations I again found students eager for this conversation. Some had never thought about it, some believed to be gay was a sin, some were GLBT-affirming but didn't quite know how to put those beliefs into action. I had mutually enriching conversations with everyone.

I hear that this conversation cannot happen, but time and time again it does. I hear that it must be an argument, but it never is. I hear that I am only looking to convert and not to learn, but I have walked away from every conversation enriched. The body of Christ is divided and at every stop I see people from both sides of the issue coming together to heal it. These conversations can happen, mutually understanding can be attained, discourse happen, graciousness can be maintained, new truths on both sides can be found. And most importantly, a greater understanding of what it means to be human can be learned. I feel imensely blessed to be a part of this ride, to share my story and my faith, and to interact with every one of the students and administrators that I have met to date.

Too bad there's only two more weeks left...

Tis how we roll

I have been called queer. I have been called a faggot. I have been compared to Satan. I have been refused prayer. I have been asked to leave. I have been deemed unworthy to talk about faith. I have been refused entrance to worship. I have seen friends arrested for talking about Scripture. I have known people who have tried to kill themselves because they were taught being dead would be better. They know ones who have succeeded. I have observed silence in the face of real concerns. I have felt apathy concerning prejudice. I have had my love compared to adultery, pedophilia, incest, and bestiality. I have been told that just by being, I am sinning.

There are still places I am unwanted, still places I am unworthy, still place I am unwelcome, still places I am unsafe, still place I am unloved.

This is why we go.

Reactions from the school

I often hear from schools and individuals that don't wish to engage in dialogue with us that Soulforce and the Equality Ride is simply about protesting, about being in people's faces, about not respecting private property, about being a media spectacle, etc etc etc.

These things could not be further from the truth. And it is hard for me to even understand where these accusations are coming from when I get back from a campus, tired and sore, after 12 hours worth of spirit-filled dialogue.

If the Equality Ride is about anything, it is about frank and honest conversations where all parties can learn and be enriched. I'd like to share some reactions from students, faculty, and administrators after our visit:

"I appreciate greatly your integrity in the process of meeting us on campus."

"graciousness"

"appreciate the way you all have engaged our campus"

"impressed with how genuine" your desire for dialogue is

"I think it's been a good day"

Some people were expecting "narrow-minded, abrasive, and in your face--and you weren't that at all"

I think those kinda speak for themselves.

Justice, Peace, and Reconcilliation

We had our first and only day on campus today at Fresno Pacific University in Fresno, CA. FPU was founded by the Mennonite Brethren which places a strong emphasis on justice, peace, and reconciliation for scriptural and spiritual understanding of faith. I was interested to see how this would play out on a campus that refuses to recognize GLBT individuals as valid members of the Christian community.

I spent the first half of the day speaking with GLBT-affirming students, faculty, and administrators. Pressing them to do more to create safe spaces on their campuses for this discussion and for GLBT individuals. With over 1,200 students there must be gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people amongst them. Why don't they feel safe to be honest about who they are? I'm not sure if any of these supportive voices had taken the time to think about if they were being supportive enough. I trust many had and I hope that they will be inspired to continue these conversations and this discussion after we left.

Aaron and I were able to visit an Ancient Near East history class and really dig into the Old Testament clobber passages. We looked at Genesis 19, the Leviticus texts, touched on Eziekel and Judges, and really unpacked Ancient Israelite culture. It was personally enriching for me and I feel as if everyone walked away from that class knowing a whole lot more than they walked in with. The time seemed to fly by and I had to continue a few discussions after class.

Today really felt like the Equality Ride. I constantly observed groups of students talking with riders. They were clustered around our tables and pulling people aside. They were crashing out meals to continue the discussions and asking to get out of work or classes early to meet with us.

I spent the entire time after my 4:00 presentation, all through dinner, and even went to the debriefing session late to talk with one student in particular. I understand his view of religion and the Bible a lot better now and I hope and trust that he understands my experience as a gay Christian better as well. I also hope that he, and others that we spoke to today, are able to consider how they view the Bible and what they think it says, and really contrast that with how we as Equality Riders see the Bible and what we think it says. And to consider the perspective of the many other GLBT Christians in their community, churches, state, and nation.

We have much to learn about each other, about how we treat people, and how we serve our God. I hope that Fresno Pacific University continues to grow in their love and understanding of the GLBT community within and outside of their university and faith.

Video: Equality Ride returns to Brigham Young

As I’m sure everyone knows, this is the Equality Ride’s second time at Brigham Young. The administration again refused to negotiate on-campus dialogue. Stop organizers Matt and Kourt knew that students were ready and waiting to talk about these issues that are literally life-or-death for too many Mormons. They organized presentations, dinner meetings, and discussion groups for our three days in Provo, UT. I would estimate that over a hundred people participated in the events while we were there. The Equality Ride brings a much needed conversation to campuses unwilling to have it on their own.

On our last day there, we moved our events closer to campus. A six-hour march around campus to make ourselves readily available to students, a press conference at the main gates of the school to let the community know of BYU’s refusal to dialogue, and an evening rally in nearby Kiwanis Park to give a voice to the Brigham Young students.

Video Blog: Kourt speaks about the stop at Brigham Young University

As I’m sure you have already read, Brigham Young University was not receptive to the Equality Ride’s attempt at dialogue on campus about their policies and the sweeping implications therein. Stop organizers Kourt Osborn and Matt Kulisch collected over 55 pages of concerns and grievances regarding LGBT students at BYU. Many students personally know LGBT students who have suicided or attempted suicide because of their sexuality and the fear and disconnection generated by BYU and LDS policy and doctrine. These concerns are very real.

Kourt Osborn and his mother decided to bring these concerns on to campus when university administrators refused a meeting to discuss them. In the following video, Kourt speaks about his time during the events planned around the Brigham Young University campus.

Days Off

After a very busy two days at Pepperdine University, we were able to take some time off in the Bay Area. We spent the first day in much needed team building and planning time at a Lutheran church in Berkley. I'm still amazed by the outpouring of church support. This ride has been very powerful for me to observe the outpouring of support by straight "adults" and people of faith. I let myself believe that being gay was something that was a thing of the youth generation and that the only non-gay supporters were liberal atheists who supported anything (much love to my roommate Carson!). That is simply not true. This really is a human issue. It is so exciting to really come to a full appreciation of the amazing, God-inspired diversity that exists within the LGBT community.

We were able to journey into San Francisco on our second day. One stop was the Museum of GLBT History. We were able to look through decades worth of history. Correspondence between poets in the 20s, costumes from early performers, pictures from the original Pride parades. We were also able to pour over magazine articles and periodicals about homosexuality ("the homophiles" as it was once called) and religion. They were in between exhibits so there were no elaborate displays but they took us back into their archives which was very exciting.

We got to spend the rest of the day running around the city. Mike, Kelsey, Emil and I got some drinks at surf 'n' turf shop near the Warf and went to the Castro and Market Street for some window shopping (and a little actual shopping). We tried to stop by the San Francisco LGBT Community Center but were already running late so we had to skip it.

Today's afternoon was spent in at a park in Modesto hosted by the PFLAG chapter there. Followed by an appearance at MOFEST, the Modesto LGBT film festival. We were guests of honor of sorts, rolling up in our big bus. The first thing shown was an excerpt from the Equality U documentary, which still chokes me up. I think most everyone else had a similar reaction. It is always nice to meet up with local communities as we travel. It really puts a face to the reasons why we are out in the field.

Tomorrow is community outreach in the Fresno area and final preparations for our time at Fresno Pacific next week. I'm excited!

Equality Ride @ Pepperdine

I don't even know where to begin. We had 27 hours of events over the course of two days for our stop at Pepperdine. Jillian and I have been working together since January to plan this stop with Dean of Student Affairs Mark Davis and Associate Dean Tabatha Jones and it was beautiful to finally see it come to fruition.

Over the course of two days I saw Pepperdine students and administrators engaged in active dialogue about their school, their community, and how to respond to LGBT issues. To simply describe the events of the days would not do them justice.

Equality Riders listened to presentations by Pepperdine ministers and professors. Pepperdine students and administrators listened to presentations by Equality Riders. There was dialogue constantly. I was able to visit a religion class to talk about inclusive theology and afterwards spent over an hour wrestling with scripture at a table with two Pepperdine students. I got more hugs than I can remember; "Thank you for coming" "God Bless you for what you are doing" "I will never forget this"

I believe that though each person came to the events from a different place, they all came with the same intention: to learn, to love, and to grow. I know that there are capable students at Pepperdine to continue these conversations as we leave and I trust that the community will still have open hearts and minds to hear them and engage them.

Malibu GLEE will be meeting with administrators to talk about the possibility of becoming officially recognized. I hope this happens. A school cannot say that it values all students and continue to deny some of them a voice. I hope that there will be safe spaces for GLBT students and Christians to go and talk. I hope that pastors and professors will be mindful of their language. I hope that slurs and hate-speech will be meet with loving confrontation.

Pepperdine is a beautiful campus populated with beautiful people with beautiful spirits. It is alive and well and I can see that. What we accomplished at Pepperdine would not be possible if they had not already accomplished so much themselves. I trust that they will continue to grow in God's love and wisdom.

Outreach at BYU

Holy cow. Yesterday seemed like one long, never-ending blur as it was happening. We awoke early to visit UVSC (Utah Valley State College) and give presentations to their GSA. We were there for hours.... After a quick break it was off to the Provo Library (which, coincidentally used to be BYU so I guess in a way, we made it!) for a dinner hosted by LDS Family Fellowship (a Mormon PFLAG-type organization). I have learned that smiling parents really help make this trip bearable and I was excited for our Mormon riders that they had parents and members from other generations within their faith supporting them as well.

There was an hour-long panel presentation that I will be posting clips from later but what I really want to get to is what happened afterwards:

The progressive theology presentation was scheduled to give a shortened version of it "Ashley's Apt". We weren't really given any other information and I can't say that I didn't think it would just be a few friends of our LDS riders. I was SO wrong. I was the first person through the door when we arrived and I literally opened the door, took a step inside, took a step back, closed the door, said "Oh crap" to my groupmates, and then went in (yes, seriously).

The room was about the size of 3 hotel rooms (right now that is my only standard of measure) and it was literally PACKED full of BYU students. I had to wade my way through the crowd, the entire floor was covered, people were standing around the walls, and even opening the door was difficult that's how full it was.

Emily, Aaron, Jonathan, Brandon, and I gave a greatly shortened version of our Progressive Theology presentation but then quickly opened it up for questions as we were meeting with a weekly discussion group (their Wednesday meeting will be all about our visit!). I don't know why I am always so surprised to find that there are students who want to talk about these issues everywhere. Not everyone in attendance was in agreement with us, in fact, I would imagine most were not. But that didn't stop them from having questions, from having opinions, from wanting to learn more.

One student who completely disagrees with us says that he continues to come to these discussions because he believes it is important to "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." That is how we are all trying to participate in these discussions and I hope that it is working.

Unfortunately we didn't bring cameras as I don't think anyone was expecting the experience we had. I couldn't help but think throughout the meeting "I really want my camera right now."

We stayed until 10:30 when we had to return to our hotel, but I gladly would have stayed longer. We our having amazing converstaions with students at every school so far. We haven't even visited the BYU campus area yet and already we are engaging 100s of students in conversation on this issue. AHHHHHHHHH.... This is the stuff of college, this is the stuff of America.

I am so excited to be a part of these important conversations.

Video: Wisconsin Lutheran

The Westbound bus visited Wisconsin Lutheran on March 12-13. Six riders and two community members (one of whom was a local pastor) were arrested for talking with students on campus on the second day. Since then we have stopped in four more states and traveled through many others. We have been very busy in the time since then, but as I made this video and watched it all the way through for the first time, I was still chilled. I don’t think I will ever forget the icey reception we received or the pit in my stomach as I watched my close friends arrested for talking about the Bible with other Christians.

I hope you are equally moved.

Salt Lake City, UT

We're driving through Salt Lake. We keep seeing men in suits taking pictures and video. It is very eery.

Sent from Treo

MIdAmerica Nazarene: Day Two

Our second day at MidAmerica Nazarene picked up right where the first left off. We were treated to breakfast in the student center with our hosts and a number of other MNU students came in to join us. Afterwards we broke up to deliver presentations to classrooms and stayed in the library to talk with students who didn’t have class. The conversations gradually became more and more serious. I found it to be a terrific mix. Students wanted to get to know us as individuals but at the same time weren’t afraid of asking tough questions. We were able to challenge each other and I think everyone walked away from the experience enriched.

Before my group began our Progressive Theology presentation the professors began by announcing his class had been studying progressive theology through the four foundations of theology: scripture, tradition, reason, and experience. That was exactly our approach to the presentation! We were able to finish our presentation before the class period ended and fielded questions and concerns from the students. A few hung back afterwards to continue the discussions. One male student told Aaron that our presentation had totally changed the way he thought about homosexuality, that it forced him to throw out all of his preconceived notions about gay people, and think of the GLBT community in a new way.

As our visit to campus wrapped up, the key administrators met with us for debriefing. We shared our thoughts and experiences and offered suggestions on where to go from here. The common consensus amongst the Equality Riders was that MidAmerica Nazarene had modeled a Christlike response to outsiders. They didn’t have to abandon everything they believe in order to listen a viewpoint different from their own.

The MNU pastor thanked us for coming to campus, for pressing these issues, for making the students and administrators examine and develop their faith. They conceded that they might need to take a look at the wording of their policy to determine its appropriateness. We urged them to continue this conversation on their campus after we leave and to continue this conversation with us. I’m hopeful that they will!

And now… off to Denver

MidAmerica Nazarene: Refreshed

Today was just the day I needed. It stood in stark contrast to our time in Milwaukee outside the walls of Wisconsin Lutheran. This morning we traveled to nearby Kansas City, Missouri to take part in the "Tulips on Troost" project which aims to redefine the way people think of color on the infamous Troost Avenue which served as a racially segregating line in Kansas City. The contrast in house sizes, landscape grandeur, and upkeep quality is still very stark. We were able to plant a garden next to the project headquarters, cleanup trash on the street, and help out with the fundraising campaign. A local PFLAG chapter provided lunch for us and talking with the mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters of GLBT individuals was truly amazing. I loved hearing the personal journeys that each of them have taken.

This evening we visited MidAmerica Nazarene for the first time. We met the administrators who greeted us with smiles, handshakes, and fruit punch! Afterwards we met our hosts for the time on campus, were seated in tables with other students and administrators and heard a presentation on "A Christian Thing To Do" which outlined healthy and productive responses to GLBT friends and family. Afterwards we were able to talk amongst our tables. The students had many questions for us. They ranged in everything from how we knew we were gay, what it was like to be Christian and queer, what does transsexual mean, what are our families like, how did our parents respond, how do we know it's not sinful, and everything in between. When we finally had to wrap up we hugged, wished each other well for the evening, and got excited about continuing the conversations the next day.

I think each and every student is genuinely interested in hearing more of what we have to say. It was so refreshing! I know that many, if not most, of these students differ with us in their views on homosexuality but we were able to come together in fellowship. They truly modeled a Christlike response. I know that we will have even more productive conversations tomorrow. And I can't wait!

Wisconsin Lutheran: Drained

Yesterday, I was among the seven riders taken to a hotel on the outskirts of town to give a presentation to a gathering of university administrators and hand-picked student leaders. The administration greeted us with cold faces and stern voices. The students were much better. Talking to us, engaging us, listening to us. At the end of our presentation, the head pastor stood up, Bible in hand, and spewed condescension and hate at us for a solid 15 minutes. We rose in witness. I saw students tear up, I saw them turn away, I saw them bow their heads in prayer. They stayed after the administrators left the room and began speaking with us. It is clear these students want to have this discussion. It is unfortunate that they are not allowed to. Students were advised not to speak to us as we stood vigil for 8 hours on the sidewalk outside of their school. It was hard to feel Christ's love as we were passed with silent, unchanging faces.

Today we returned. We walked on to campus and were approached by the head of the security. He asked us to leave. We informed him that we were here to converse with the students who wanted to have this conversation. He told us he was calling the police. We had about 20 minutes to talk with students before the police arrive. A student who attended the presentation yesterday came out to see us and talked with Aaron and me for a bit. "I wish it didn't have to come to this. I wish we could have a conversation about this." Aaron and I agreed. She was later joined by one of her professors. We were able to talk about faith. To go deeper into the Scriptures. To discuss theology. To share our views. We challenged each other. Eventually Alexey informed us that the police had arrived and we had been given an official warning of trespass. The professor shook his head and said, "They shouldn't have done that." We exchanged tear-filled hugs and parted ways.

Six riders and two community members, one of whom is a pastor, stayed behind to continue the dialogue with the students. They got to spend 40 more minutes in the Word, talking about Christ and God and faith with these students who were so eager to hear it. Justin, Emil, and Kourt were eventually interacting with a group of close to 30 students by the time the police had to arrest them. Students cried at the oppressive action their school was taking. We were exchanging in civil Christian discourse with fellow believers. Why is that wrong?

The remaining riders returned to the sidewalk and held vigil on either side of the driveway as the arrests took place. I cried every time a police vehicle filled with my amazing, spirit-filled friends, drove past. Where is Christ in this?

One student joined us in the line, another texted Matt Kulisch "God bless you all."

This is why we go.

Mobile Update: Wisconsin Lutheran

Wisconsin Lutheran is in the process of having six riders arrested for talking to students and professors. The students are continuing the conversations until the riders are forced to leave.

Sent from Treo

Memorial at Notre Dame

On Thursday March 9, the Equality Riders were allowed on to campus to attend mass and interact with students. They were given no official platform, were instructed not to speak with groups, and were forbidden from passing out any supplementary information. When Riders were seen giving information about the days events to students when requested, they were cited for trespassing and required to leave.

The following day, the Equality Riders returned to lay a memorial wreath at the statue of Notre Dam alum Tom Dooley, a gay military commander. They were led by student Eddie Velasquez. Jonathan will be blogging about the experience later. Here is a video documenting Notre Dame’s response.

Wrapping up in South Bend

Honoring GLBT Catholics silenced by the University and the Church


Six riders were arrested today for bringing three wreaths onto the Notre Dame campus to honor GLBT students and alumni
who have been silenced by the University and the Church. One was to be placed at the statue of Tom Dooley, a gay military commander and ND alum, and two at the prestine Grotto, a place of prayer and reflection. The Equality Riders never reached their destination but student Eddie Valasquez, accompanied by his friend, carried the wreath to Tom Dooley's statue.

This evening, I received an email from a Notre Dame student with whom I had interacted with during our time on and off campus. This is what he wrote:

Dear Brian,

I cannot truly express how thankful I am that the equality ride stopped at Notre Dame. Though a few friend of my friends know I'm gay and have been extremely supportive, I still have to put on a facade of a straight man in my classes, in public areas and around other friends. Having yall here on campus gave me confidence in myself and the person I am. I chose to come to Notre Dame for its strong catholic identity, since i was raised catholic all my life, and because of the Marching Band. I came out here at Notre Dame because 1) I was away from my family, and 2) I wanted to be myself. Unfortunately, the campus is very conservative so the second one is a little tough.

I applaude you and the rest of the riders for the wonderful work you are doing. I wish yall the best for your other experiences at other campuses. Thanks to you I have actually decided to go to mass this sunday, which i have not been to in the past 6 months.

Let the rest of the team know how much grateful I am for meeting yall, and i will pray for yall for a safe travel.

With tons of love for all the riders,

He will be in my thoughts throughout the rest of this ride, reminding me of the importance of this endeavour.

Reflections on Yesterday

At 10:00am we made our way onto Notre Dame campus, escorted by a gay student and trailed by campus police. We interacted with a few students outside the Basilica before going inside for Mass. Jennifer and Landon joined me and it was amazing to worship with them. Looking around at the ornate decorations and observing the millenia old tradition, all of my old qualms with Catholicism swelled up inside of me. But as I observed the late attendees enter and kneel before making their way across the row or worshipers lift their hands in prayer, I realized that there was a deep faith working here too. No religion is perfect--mine an Catholicism both included--but God is. And where his followers come together to celebrate the Divine, there it is too.

Emil and I got lunch with Jennifer and Landon before listening to two Notre Dame students speaking about their experience being gay and lesbian at the school. Kelsey and Deflin shared their own stories about growing up Catholic and the pain of being excluded from the church.

The riders milled about afterwards for awhile. I gave Jennifer and Landon information about the off-campus event we were holding later in the day. I also gave a student the same information. Emil gave his friend some more information. For that act, we were given official notices of trespassing and asked to leave the campus.

As I walked away I felt a little uneasy. Should we have not handed anything out (even when asked) and stayed on campus to stay. I wasn't sure. That evening, the Notre Dame student came to our function at the Zion United Church of Christ. Any doubt I had earlier was immediately vanquished. He also met up with us at the local cafe for lunch. And brought a friend to the film screening this afternoon.

It was worth it.

Mobile Update

Notre Dame arrested 6 riders and threatened a student with immediate suspension for bringing wreaths in memorial of silenced GLBT NDers

Sent from Treo

Tresspass Notice

You are hereby notified that you are on private property owned by the Universirt of Notre Dame. As a private property holder, the University has the right to tell you that you are not wanted on university property.

By copy of this notice, the university official named below is providing you with written warning that you must leave, and not return to, any property owned by the university. If you should be found on university property in the future, you will be arrested for criminal trespass. A copy of this notice will be retained by the university for that purpose.

After mass and lunch today I gave my friends Jennifer and Landon a map to the local church where we will be having a function later tonight. Shortly after I spoke with a gay student who expressed his excitement that we had come to his campus. He's allowed to be out he says, but it is uncomfortable everywhere. He told me that he feels uncomfortable speaking in classes. For the first time, I understood that being silenced for being gay was real. A university official informed me that I was not allowed to pass out information to students and since I had done that, I would be officially warned for trespassing.

Rider Justin Hager gave a student a pin when, upon seeing her friend wearing one, she asked him for one. He was asked to leave.

Rider Emil Pohlig gave a gay student more information about our events tonight. He was asked to leave.

Two Notre Dame students who spoke to a group of other students in the Student Center had their information taken down for possible disciplinary action.

The First Morning

As I sit in my hotel room, waiting for my other roommates to finish getting ready so that we can go down to breakfast together, I'm not sure if the reality of the Equality Ride has set in yet. Yes I went to Austin, TX and Minneapolis, MN for two weeks of training. Yes I drove on a bus for 12 hours, through 4 states to arrive at my destination. Yes I have already talked to my Notre Dame friends who I will get to see in only a short time. But somehow, it still doesn't feel real yet.

I think that is a blessing. I have never known overt homophobia. I have never been scared at my school. At all times, even if I ran into a bump or two along the way, I was surrounded with support systems. I do not have any experiences that might help fully understand the spiritual void that I am about to step into.

I do however know that this must be done. I remember experiencing the change that Rebecca's friend experienced when he came to Los Angeles with her for the Notre Dame football game. He shouldn't have to travel across the country to feel good in his own skin. He shouldn't have to leave his school and his faith community.

If we can start making other students think about this, maybe change is possible. If we can visualize a world in which all of God's children all loved and accepted, exactly as the Creator made them, we can create it.

I pray that students would be open to us. I don't pray that they would be "converted" to our message. Rather I pray that their hearts would be open to our hearts. That we can listen to each other's stories. That we can learn from each other. That we can connect on a basic human level. And when that happens, I'm confident that everyone will agree that oppression of any of God's children is an unacceptable travesty.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

And so it begins

After a much delayed start due to a oh-so-beautiful Minneapolis snow storm, Equality Ride training is up and running full steam ahead. We've been training for two days and I don't even know where to begin. We are accomplishing so much so quickly that it all seems like one big blur. I wonder what it will all look like in a few months when I look back with perspective.

Today was eye-opening in a lot of ways. Peterson Toscano spoke about his 17-years in the ex-gay movement. It was moving to have a personal story to hear in contrast to the personal stories of the ex-gay leaders. He challenged us/they to find one person who has been out of the movement for over five years who isn't a leader, staff, or volunteer. He's never met one.

The latter half of the day was spent with non-violence training. Rev Phil Lawson spoke to us about his experiences as a leader during the civil rights movement and biblical basis for non-violent ministry and social justice action. Having an outsider, a heterosexual, an adult, a civil rights leader, a minister speak to me about the Equality Ride and of its importance will be reassuring to remember when we are being attacked on campuses and told that we aren't "real" Christians.

We also spent substantial time dealing about the realities of confrontation that we will face on these campuses. While we come to engage in dialogue, there is always a possibility that we will be met with violence; be it physical or verbal. We had to simulate verbal attacks on our fellow riders (and be the recipients of it as well). Growing up in Washington, DC and going to school in Los Angeles I have been sheltered from any sort of real personal attacks so it was especially unnerving to hear such awful things being said to and about people I already care so much about. What is worse is that there are people in this world who hear those things all of the time.

Emotions were running as people struggled to hear themselves being the perpatrators of such verbal violence but at the same time, I think we now have a more human perspective of our "adversaries" and can understand what they must be going through a little better.

There's so much to absorb and digest and out of respect for all of the riders, I think I'm going to have to make that a personal process. Our task is weighty, but so important.

Delays

Despite assurances from the agents in LA to the contrary, my connecting flight from Phoenix to Minneapolis was cancelled. I have a "flight" "booked" for tomorrow afernoon. Here's to hoping that doesn't get cancelled as well.

A 2006 Equality Rider should be able to put me up tonight. But for now, I'm making myself comfortable on the floor.

Sent from Treo

Departure

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

I remember the very first time my mother taught me that verse. It was at YoungLife's Windy Gap camp in North Carolina. It made an indelible impression on me and I often go back to that verse in Issiah for strength.

As it turns out, that verse is also Meilee's favorite verse. And today, as my mom did so many years ago, she told it to me to give me courage. I carry them both (and the countless other friends who continue to support me) with me as I board my plane and venture into the great unknown.

Lord, give me strength. And here I go!

Sent from Treo

Southern California Send-Off

The four Southern California riders had our send-off last night and it went off (in my opinion) perfectly. Good friends, good food, good times. Though hosting it on the television sound stage was a last minute decision, I think in the end it worked out nicely. I would post a picture, but my camera battery is dead and thus, no pictures. Many of my friends came out to support us and it was a blast having them all together in one place as I'm preparing to ship out.

I was a little skeptical how playing a clip from Equality U would turn out. Unlike many other Soulforce/Equality Ride events/fundraisers, this one was attended primarily by friends and family members. There weren't many (or any?) "community members" or "donors" or "concerned citizens" -- it was just friends coming to see us off. I thought it might be a little too weighty for them, but then I would have been underestimating our friends.

The clip was stirring and I couldn't help my well up just a little bit. Afterwards, Laura Davis (originally from Missouri) came up to reiterate how excited/proud she was that I was a part of the Equality Ride. She said, with tears in her eyes, "Thank-you so much for doing this. Those are my friends. They just don't know. I saw a lot of them go out of state to college and have their eyes opened up but a lot of them are still there. They just need this to come to them. I Thank you." I was floored. (And a little teary-eyed myself) The outflowing of support that I have received from my friends in this endevaour has been encouraging. I know I will need it in the weeks ahead. I'm glad that they got to see a little bit of what I will be doing.

I told Laura when we stopped in Olathe, Kansas I would find a tall building and try to look into Missouri for her. It reaffirms why I am doing this ride. Every life matters. Every change counts. When we go to Kansas, I'm going for Laura. And that is reason enough.

Prayers

As news of our impending visist spreads around the country, reporters, bloggers, students, and administrators have begun to talk about it publicly. I haven't really responded to many of these reports, but one that I read today from The Point (graciously forwarded by East Bus Co-Director Jarrett Lucas) piqued my interest.

Let's pray for all the Christian colleges on Equality Ride's tour schedule. Pray that God would protect the minds and lives of the students on these campuses, some of whom may be struggling with these issues or who may have never before been confronted with them. Pray that God would give wisdom to the administration at each school to know how to handle these uninvited guests. And pray that the men and women participating in Equality Ride will be overwhelmed by God's grace and compassion as they visit these schools. Pray that they would see an irresistible passion and love for God and for others shining on the faces and in the lives of the people they meet on these campuses.

Amen! It is interesting, even comforting to me, that Ms. Steakly and I have the exact same wish for our time on these campuses (though, we certainly hold different beliefs on the matter). The Equality Ride has never been shy about our aim to visit in love, for conversation, and with compassion.

As a Christian, I am daily overwhelmed by God's grace and compassion; He is my joy and my strength. It is my prayer that every individual be blessed with such a wonderful relationship as is found in the Lord. I suppose where our views diverge is how exactly we realize that vision. And it should be noted that some schools on our itinterary (Pepperdine for instance) are happy to have us come and engage the campus on these topics.

It still surprises me that individuals are shunned from the Christian community because of their love for another child of God. I pray for those on all campuses struggling with these issues, that they will know God loves and affirms them. That He has not, and will not, turn His back on them. That they will not be elbowed out of communion in Christ because of misguided and unquestioned prejudices. That they will never be deprived of the grace that is God. May God's light shine through me and the many other Christian riders.

And I pray for those students who have never had to even think about these issues. That they will open their hearts, prayerfully and with careful meditation, to ALL perspectives on this issue. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 instructs us to "Examine all things. Hold on to those which are good." That is all I ask.

Only eight more days, I am excited! In Christ, Brian

An Anonymous Donation

comment: "Brian, Asking God's blessing on you venture. Thanks for your help in informing people that we can be gay and Christian at the same time."

Donations have been trickling in from friends and friends' parents but I was completely caught off guard by this one. Alexey told us that often times riders get donations from complete strangers. I believed him, but somehow figured I would be exempt.

This anonymous donor was a powerful reminder to me of why I am doing this. To whoever it was: Thank you, for supporting me in this cause and for being a voice from the outside. I will do my best to let others know.

Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism

Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning, and now Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism by John Shelby Spong. Books that have touched my own heart--and the heart of God--in awesome and inspiring ways. I remember the spiritual renewing, the awesome and empowering life-truth, the saving and amazing grace, and the history changing difference that I gleaned from Mere Christianity and The Ragamuffin Gospel. When I set out to complete my Equality Ride readings, I was certainly not expecting a Christian awakening. How wrong was I?

There were moments as I read that the Evangelical inside of me sprung up and I was tempted to write it off as hippie-new-age-mushy-spirituality-not-really-Christian. But that notion was quickly dispelled. On multiple occasions (I can distinctly remember three), the words sent goosebumps over my body. I had previously thought about how there is a temptation to revere the Bible instead of revering God. That somehow it is the Bible that is the source of life, the source of goodness, the source of power.

It isn't.

The Bible is merely a messenger--one of many ways God reveals himself to us. Even the Bible talks of how God reveals Himself to all, even outside of Scripture. Scripture is beautiful. But Scripture is not God. It is the feeble, time-sensitive, culturally-tainted words of men (and women), striving to know God better and to pass on their magnificent, life-altering experience with him to others. God bless them! The Bible is a rich resource and we, Christians, would be lost without it. It's contribution cannot be overestimated. But it is but a mere reflection of the One it honors.

Spong proposes that while Fundamentalism offers a literalism that is both irrational, unacceptable, and eventually spiritually fatal, the alternative that many liberal/mainline churches present is no more appealing. Devoid of saying anything definite, lacking Biblical knowledge and authority, missing a real and urgent quest for God. Fundamentalism does not have a monopoly on the Bible. I was refreshed to hear an educated, progressive theologian talk about the importance of the Bible and the timelessness of its message. We have another option! Searching after God is not easy--but He never said it would be. When you wade past the limited knowledge of the day, the preconceptions, the assumptions, the culture, the language, and the experiences what you find is truly remarkable.
You find God.

I thank God that I might search after Him. And I pray that He might guide my journey as I do.

First Encounters At Pepperdine

Fellow Pepperdine organizer Jillian Nye and I had our first visit with Dean of Student Affairs Mark Davis and Associate Dean Tabatha Jones today. It was great to sit down face-to-face and get to know each other. Luckily they are very open to our plans for the visit and this has been very much a cooperative effort. We are still pulling everything together but we've already got a bunch of great things to look forward to.

• Morning worship at the Chapel to kick-off our two days together
• Working with the AIDS Awareness postcard writing campaign (it's AIDS Awareness week)
• Talking to Social Justice classes
• Presenting to the students
• Mingling in the cafeteria
• Supper with professors, administrators, student leaders, and GLBT students

Jillian, Mark, Tabatha, and I closed our time together at Heroes Garden on the top of the big mountain on campus with a prayer. It was majestic and beautiful. I praise God for the work that the four of us will do on this campus.

Equality Ride and the LDS Church

This year's Equality Ride will stop at two Latter Day Saints schools this year, BYU and BYU-Idaho. Last year Equality Ride stopped at BYU and were able to speak with students. When riders attempted to speak with groups, they were arrested. Later, a protest honoring the GLBT BYU students who have killed themselves drew more arrests. The Equality Ride organizers, as well as the riders ourselves, see the current policies of the LDS church as a threat to the mental, physical, and spiritual safety of GLBT individuals. We will be returning to BYU and adding BYU-Idaho to our stop list because of this.

In anticipation of the upcoming visits, Affirmation, an organization for gay & lesbian Mormons, recently featured an interview with Matt Kulisch.

Matt Kulisch, 24, became well known one year ago when, as a BYU student, he decided to join the Soulforce Equality Ride demonstration held at his own campus and led a “die-in” event in remembrance of gay Mormon suicides. Matt, who has since transferred to the University of Utah, is one of four young people with an LDS background who will participate in this year’s ride as it stops at BYU, BYU-Idaho, and some 15 other religious colleges that discriminate against LGBT students.

The Equality Ride will visit BYU on March 21-22 and BYU-Idaho on April 16-17. For more information on these four Riders of LDS background, and to help sponsor their Ride, please visit the pages for Mike Cramer, Matt Kulisch, Kourt Osborn, and Emil Pohlig at www.soulforce.org/2007riders.

One year ago, as a BYU student, you joined the historic demonstration that the Equality Ride was organizing at BYU and, as a result of your participation, you were placed on probation. Had you planned to play such an active role in that demonstration?

Honestly, no. I didn’t, at least not initially. Several of my roommates and friends had been following the Equality Ride as it was traveling towards BYU, and they had been communicating with the Riders in preparation for their visit. I didn’t decide to get involved until the day the Equality Ride arrived in Provo. But a friend of mine had just lost someone to suicide because he was gay and couldn’t reconcile his feelings with his religious beliefs, and another very close friend had come out to his family the very day the Ride came to BYU—it went pretty badly. I decided to demonstrate for myself, and for them.

One thing I found interesting is that you were not disciplined for being gay, but for refusing to remain silent. Do you think BYU is a healthy environment for gay and lesbian students?

I think you have just identified BYU’s true policy toward their LGBT students: You’re welcome so long as you’re submissive and silent, which is a pretty poor way of following the counsel of LDS church leaders on the subject. Any environment that does not offer LGBT students—or any other minority group, for that matter—a voice to speak their minds and share their concerns is not a healthy environment. BYU is certainly no exception.

Read the full article here

It is with a heavy heart and a renewed resolve that I prepare to stop at BYU, BYU-Idaho, and other stops that so forcefully oppose our presence. I am inspired by the stories of individuals such as Matt and Kourt Osborn. I am blessed to know them and I know that they will be a blessing to the students we will encounter at these schools.

Website Updated

Soulforce has updated it's page for the Equality Ride and you can now view it at www.equalityride.com or www.soulforce.org/equalityride. It is complete with an overview of the ride, some pictures and stories from last year's ride, profiles for the 2007 riders, and the complete list of schools we are visiting (along with their policies).

You can view the EAST ROUTE here and the WEST ROUTE here.

Some highlights include Notre Dame, BYU, Trinity Bible, Yellowstone Baptist, George Fox, and Bethany Lutheran. Be sure to check out the complete lists for both schools.

I am coordinating the West Bus stop at Pepperdine University. If you are interested in coming up to support the ride or are connected to Pepperdine in some way (current or former student, faculty, staff, family, community, etc) please contact me for information on how you can get involved. We can always use supportive voices and assistance.

Gentle Words

Borrowed from fellow rider, Cylest Brooks:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it's all between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Mother Teresa

A Brief History of Soulforce

Soulforce was founded in 1999 by Rev Dr Mel White to counter religious and political based oppression of GLBT individuals. Following in the footsteps of Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. Soulforce believes in relentless non-violence to challenge homophobia.

It is the sad truth that much of the anti-gay rhetoric comes from churches and religious institutions. Such misuse of religion to sanction the condemnation and rejection of any of God’s children is spiritual violence. Soulforce staff and volunteers expose the harmful effects of anti-gay beliefs and practices at churches, denominational conferences, universities, military academies, and government facilities through dialogue and direct action.

We are all God's children and Soulforce is committed to spread the GOOD NEWS of God's message; refusing to let it be corrupted for oppression.

During the 2007 Equality Ride, 58 riders will travel to 33 schools across the country to start and continue a dialogue over these schools' policies which treat GLBT individuals differently. Some of these schools have openly gay students while others threaten expulsion for even expressing a GLBT-affirming opinion. Each school is different but they all officially sanction discrimination against GLBT individuals.

We do not come to these schools to be troublemakers, to stir things up, or to pull off a publicity stunt. We come to open our minds and our hearts, to share with students and staff, and to learn. We come to support the students on these campuses affected by these policies. We come to put a human face on this issue. We come for conversation.

God bless.

The Ex-Gay Controversy

A growing number of Christians are realizing that the traditional treatment that homosexuals have received from the church is appalling and unacceptable. For too long they have conducted themselves in a decidedly unChristlike manner. It is uplifting that individuals and communities are looking for ways to improve. Unfortunately, some of them are embracing the ex-gay movement which, while it stresses respecting and loving homosexuals, also stresses their ability to change. While change is not a prerequisite for their love, it is the expected outcome. The GLBT community is still being told that if they don't "repent" they are doing something wrong. It seems the message hasn't changed that much at all. I offer below my thoughts about the work of a particular ex-gay author and speaker, twenty-something Chad Thompson.

First off, I would like to say that sincerely hope that Chad has come to a place in his life where he is at peace with himself, it seems from his talk that he is. There are far too many GLBT Christians in our country and in our world who never find peace and Chad and I agree that this is simply unacceptable. I can't, and won't, debate the validity of Chad's own experiences or the convictions he holds. I trust that he is coming from a place of honesty, genuinely seeking to do good.

Chad states (on his website) that "For Christians to be effective, we must use not only our words but also our hands, feet, minds, hearts, voices, time, resources, and attention to show our love to people who identify as LGBT." That is such a terrific goal! However, I am concerned that Chad's stated objective is not being met by his actions.

What Chad is doing is taking his own personal experience struggling with his homosexuality, generalizing it to apply to every single homosexual, and then going and talking to heterosexual Christians about it. I bet Chad spends time meeting and speaking with individuals who are questioning their orientation, but he makes a living as an author and public speaker. And at most places, his audiences are predominately heterosexual.

In the end, his message is that GLBT are NOT as they should be and that they can—and should—change. It is the same old condemnation repackaged with a shiny new cover. In not so many words, he's telling Christians that it is OK to continue to look down upon their GLBT brother and sisters. Extensive research has shown that human sexuality is not as changeable as Chad makes it out to be. He says that God will change them if they ask. What happens when to the ones that don't change? What happens to the prayerful and faithful GLBT Christians who do not experience a change in their orientation? The loathing and self-hatred will still be there. They will still think that they are doing something wrong. They will still feel rejected. They will still feel inadequate when they are God's children; fearfully and wonderfully made. Chad is preaching to straight Christians that every single GLBT person can change and that anyone who hasn't simply doesn't want to. I can only imagine how empty that must sound to a Christian struggling in isolation in the closet against something he or she has no control over. This is not a loving message.

Chad spends considerable time discussing what makes a person homosexual. In a similar train of thought, I'm interested in what makes a person an ex-gay. Chad was raised in a violently homophobic household. He was told that being gay was vile, sinful, and damning. It is no wonder that he wanted to change! The real travesty is not his sexuality but rather that he lives in a world which tells him that he must try to change who he is in order to be accepted. I only wish that rather than rushing to condemnation of himself, Chad would spend some time investigating where these messages of "there is something wrong with you" are coming from.

It is unfortunate that Chad never goes into any depth about why homosexuals should try to change their orientation. He does say that he "knew it wasn't what God wanted" but was it what God wanted or was it what the people around him wanted? He couldn't even check out books from the library for fear of discovery. If Chad was raised in an environment that allowed him to investigate these voices, would he still feel that he needed to change?

Rather debating whether or not change is possible (and as every single person is different, I think any attempt to define what causes a person to be homosexual or what constitutes change is probably impossible) I believe that it is more important to address the underlying question of "Why are GLBT people being told that they need to change?"

I would challenge everyone to take a moment to reflect on that question. In the end, it is far more important than any statistic or survey or "success story". Before offering solutions, let's make sure that we are answering the correct question.

Jesus Camp

Jesus Camp focuses on Pentecostal preacher Becky Fleischer and the children and families that attend her annual summer camp "Kids on Fire Summer Camp" though considerably more time is spent on her, Levi (now 13), Rachel (now 10), and Tory (now 11). The film presents an eye-opening look at a more disturbing side of Evangelical Christianity. Obviously any documentary is subject to editing and sound design and the message, themes, and characters can be given a slant, it gives you at least a sense of what is out there.

This comes as a jarring antithesis to my own personal life experiences. I recently discovered that I was an evangelical for most of my life and that many of my friends are, according to the sociological definition of the term. I had never even thought to consider that my experiences in my Presbyterian youth group and through YoungLife fell under that banner. I was always just a Christian. This Christianity presented in this film is not the Christianity that I experienced. I think it is important that when viewing this film, one not make sweeping generalizations. This is one particular woman and her church group, it does not represent the totality of American Christian, not even American Evangelical Christians.

As a Christian who believes in the overwhelming power of God and of the Good News, it breaks my heart to hear a pastor advocate for the "indoctrination" (her words) of youth. Indoctrination is what you must do when you do not have truth on your side. God doesn't need warriors, salespeople, or PR agents. He just needs devoted individuals to follow his commands. Love God and love our neighbors. He's God, I think he can handle the rest.

Jesus, The Bible, and Homosexuality

Why am I doing this? I am not gay. No one in my family is gay. That is why I was able to stay on the sidelines for so long. It didn't touch me personally / I am a Christian who cares deeply about Christ's church. . . . This is a defining issue of our time.
- Jack Rogers; Jesus, The Bible, and Homosexuality

In his short book, Jack Rogers recounts his journey through GLBT issues from his theological roots, his ministerial positions, and his changing views on equality and inclusion. Rogers is an ordained minister of the PC(USA) church, he attended a conservative/evangelical seminary, and he in the past objected to the ordination of openly gay ministers. He served as moderator for one of the PC(USA) General Assemblies and has attended many others either as a seminary professor or an official representative. He has been directly involved in exploratory committees on the issues and after thoughtful and prayer consideration, Rogers has emerged on the other side as an advocate for full inclusion of GLBT individuals into the Christian family.

I commend Rogers on his straightforward approach. He doesn't beat around the bush or waste time with formalities. He makes no secret of his positions, past and present, and he gives guidance with a voice of authority.

To many Christians, gay people talking about how the Bible does not condemn them rings too much like alcoholics trying to justify their abuse. Luckily Rogers and others like him stand in solidarity with their GLBT brothers and sisters in Christ, unencumbered by accusations of selfish interests, speaking with authority that this marginalization can no longer be tolerated. There is no sin in being GLBT. Equality Rider Bram Wispelwey puts it this way, "Causing or even allowing any of God's children to feel like something less than His perfectly loved child may be the greatest heresy of the Christian faith." Bram rightfully sees it as what it is. This is not a gay issue, "this is a Christian issue, a human issue."

Amen.

Ragamuffins

Most of us believe in God's grace--in theory. But somehow we can't seem to apply it in our daily lives. We continue to see Him as a small-minded bookkeeper, tallying our failures and successes on a score sheet. Yet God gives us his grace, willingly, no matter what we've done. We come to Him as ragamuffins--dirty, bedraggled, and beat-up. And when we sit at His feet, He smiles upon us, the chosen objects of His "furious love."

A short while ago (read: 2.5 months), Brennan Manning came to speak at my church in Los Angeles, Bel Air Presbyterian, while our pastor was on sabbatical. Apparently I'm not up to snuff on my Christian authors because I had never heard of him before, but I think in the end I'm glad for that. I got to hear his message for the first time in person, which was really cool.

"God loves you just as you are, not as you should be, for you will never be as you should be."

That was the point he repeated over and over again. What a terrific point! For all of the fuss that modern-day Christianity is making, the simple truth is that Jesus came that we might know that God loves us, wants the best for us, and accepts us home just the way we are. We don't have to be perfect--or even good--before we come wandering back, His arms are already wide open.

Being thoroughly reinvigorated by the sermon and with Christmas only a few weeks away, his book The Ragamuffin Gospel, seemed like a natural thing to ask for when I got the annual phone call from Grandma.

I now betray my slow reading pace as I just finished the book a few days ago. It's not that I'm a slow reader, it's that I'm an infrequent reader. But I digress. The Ragamuffin Gospel was an neatly articulated, refined, more scripturally supported version of Manning's sermon. Plain and simple. My mind a few times strayed to the current "struggle" that Equality Ride is dealing with, though I attempted to read it with an unclouded mind.

If you are a Christian, I would highly recommend this book as a way to remember what is really important in life. If you aren't a Christian, I would highly recommend this book, too. Looking at the news headlines you might wonder why anyone would want to be a Christian -- this will answer that.

And if, for whatever reason, you feel lost and hopeless. Unloved or unworthy. Abandoned, betrayed, or simply alone. You definitely need to read this.

We come to God not because we have it all together, but because we are beat-up, worn out, and eager for rest. In the end, we all ragamuffins, and God loves us all just the same.

Friends, Fundraisers, and Goodbyes

All good things must come to an end and here in Austin they certainly have. After a week filled with long days we were able to take it easy Saturday night. We attended a fundraiser in our honor at a local Austin art gallery and were greeted by the Soul Force Board of Directors, donors, potential donors, friends, family, and a few locals.

It was our first experience being out in the world as Equality Riders, having been hidden away in the bowels of Best Western thus far. Seeing all the excited faces at the fundraisers was refreshing. And having news cameras pointed at me was interesting. It's something we're going to have to get used to.

After the fundraiser, the Equality Riders made their way to a local bar -- Charlie's -- for some drinks and dancing. A pool table was the first thing after the bouncer. Yup, we're in Texas! Cutting loose with all of the Riders and not having to worry about schedules, and policies, and plans for once was a bonding experience we all were happy to have. Joey spotted the news coverage of our fundraiser on the television above the bar and the DJ gave us a shout-out. I think the evening really brought us together as a group. USA here we come!

Sunday was a bitter-sweet day. I for one was happy to be going home to my own bed and the prospect of not having to work 15 hour days was enticing to say the least. We spent our last evening together sharing where we were before Austin, where we are now, and where we're going. There was LOTS of sharing and it took us a solid 3 hours to wrap everything up but doing so really gave us a sense of who we were as a group. These people are some of the most amazing people I have ever met. They come from all around the country and they bring them open minds and loving hearts. I cannot wait to share them with the world and grow to know them even better.

Training in Austin

A van picked me, and a handful of other Equality Riders, up from the Austin, TX airport and transported us to the Best Western that will be our home for the next week. As the afternoon turned into evening the rest of the riders trickled--and sometimes flooded-- in. Presented with all of these new faces, the only option was clearly a meet-and-greet icebreaker. Yes, they are cheesy; but after being subjected to them twice daily, I have to admit they work.

One of my roommates for training is Matt Kulish (pictured here with the lovely Amy Scott), who you will recognize from the Equality Ride preview if you did your homework and watched it. Rooming with him gives me a different perspective on this whole endeavor. For my entire life I have either lived in the DC-Metropolitan suburbs or the heart of Los Angeles. The worst discrimination GLBT people receive is a passing joke. I joined this ride because I knew it was the right thing to do, but after talking with Matt and others like him, I now know it's the only thing to do. It's so much more serious now (while still being very fun, don't get me wrong). This training is providing me a perspective of the community that I had never seen before. A dark and gritty side. A side where suicide and depression are real problems, where homophobia means excommunication not just a snide comment. In some cerebral way I have always known the discrimination against GLBT people is still an issue, but that Matt is the first person I have ever met to face discrimination for being GLBT makes realize just how blessed I have been in life. Hopefully by the end of April the world will be a little bit better.

For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.
Luke 12:48