Right to Marry comes to a close

The New York Right to Marry campaign is coming to a close. The Northern Route said goodbye to Utica, New York this morning and arrived in New York City not too long ago. Tomorrow brings a day of tying up lose ends, following up with the folks we met along the way, debriefing our experiences, and planning for the future. I'm excited to meet up with the 24 other young adults if only for a day.

As my van traveled through the North Country, we documented our progress and the stories of some of those we met along the way. Some of the Right to Marry participants already shared their thoughts on why marriage is important (here and here) and soon we'll have the stories of New York citizens and couples to share with you too.

For now, here's a look at our time up north:

Starting to walk

Letters from the "Walk A Mile In My Shoes" campaign to NY Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno:

Dear Senator Bruno,
I enjoy getting your newsletter and want to thank you for all you do to support New Yorkers, especially those in the Capital Region.

It has come to my attention, via the young adults of SoulforceQ, that you are unwilling to bring the marriage equality bill to the floor. May I ask why?

Expect a pair of my shoes for you to walk a mile in.

Respectfully,
Kathleen Michaels
Troy, NY

Be sure to send your own pair of shoes to Senator Joseph Bruno to remind him that the marriage equality bill deserves to be heard on the senate floor.

Video: Right to Marry kicks off in New York

By now we are a few days into the New York Right to Marry campaign. With grassroots activism comes limited resources and internet isn't a top priority. Luckily we've been blessed with houses and churches who have internet to share and here in Plattsburg, we found a great coffee shop--Koffee Kat--to sit in and work while talking with locals and of course, drinking some coffee!

I sat down with a few RtM participants before we departed Albany to talk about why marriage matters. Here's what they have to say:

Equality Ride flashback in Albany, NY

After an exciting, albeit wet, day at the Saratoga County Fair, the western van joined up with Albany’s MCC church for an evening forum featuring a documentary screening, discussion of our work ahead, and sharing of stories. I for one was very encouraged to meet the locals of Albany and hear their stories. As our evening was winding down, four young adults made their way into Emmanuel Baptist Church. The conversation quickly moved from marriage equality to Biblical morality as we cleared out of the church.

Read more over at the Soulforce blog.

Walk a mile in my shoes

Senate Majority Leader Bruno refused requests to meet with our van though we have been trying to schedule a meeting for a long time now. Instead we were able to meet with a staff member who graciously listened, nodded, and suggested we keep the conversation going across the state. We will certainly be doing that in the next few weeks. At the same time, I am dismayed. As a future New Yorker, I look to my leaders to do what is right, even when that is unpopular. I appreciate our representative democracy which was designed to protect the rights of the minority from the whims of the majority.

My civil rights are not subject to debate and popular vote.

I look forward to a time when the leaders of our country will protect all of this nation's citizens. I am hopeful that Senator Bruno will be one of those leaders or at least allow the marriage equality bill to be heard on the senate floor.

In the meantime, I ask Senator Bruno to walk a mile in my shoes and to imagine what life would be like were he unable to wed. In doing so, I am confident that he, other senators, and all Americans will understand the importance of extending marriage rights to all individuals.

As my friends, acquaintances, or Internet readers, I urge you to ask Senator Bruno the same thing. Please find a pair of worn-out shoes you may have, write on a postcard why marriage equality is important to you—that you want to marry your girlfriend, that your parents aren't protected under the law, that your gay brother needs to live in a world where he can dare to dream of falling in love and marrying—and send that along with your shoes to Senator Bruno:

Senator Joseph L. Bruno
Legislative Office Building, Rm: 909
Albany, NY 12247

Please, walk a mile in my shoes.

If you send a pair of shoes, take a picture of your shoes and forward them to me so that we can keep track!

Video: Survivors Share

The Ex-Gay Survivors Conference is officially over but the effects it created continue to reverberate. The Survivor's Initiative has already visited NARTH headquarters and the New Life Church to present their stories of ex-gay therapies. Peterson and Christine continue to blog new insights in the wake of the conference and other ex-gay survivors such as Shawn and Dan Gonzalez join in with their own personal stories.

I'm also pleased to say that while I was in Irvine for the conference I was able to sit down and speak with some truly amazing individuals and capture their stories. I'm putting together a short video which will explore the conference as a whole, but in the meantime I hope to bring you a few standalone shorts: the often unheard stories of the ex-gay movement.

Claire Willett and Daniel Stoltenberg speak out and share their experiences of navigating faith, identity, anti-gay messaging, and ultimately reconciliation.

A Time For Healing

I had the amazing opportunity to attend the Ex-Gay Survivor's Conference in Irvine, CA this past weekend, hosted by Soulforce and Beyond Ex-Gay. I went to document the event (a role I seem to have fallen into during Equality Ride) but I could not help but be affected myself.

What I saw were the unseen survivors, what I heard were the untold stories. Many things in life are up for debate, the lives and experiences of these individuals are not.

Peterson Toscano opened the weekend with a pre-registration performance of his one-man show "Doing Time In the Homo No-Mo Halfway House" to a packed house in the Crystal Cove Auditorium at UC-Irvine. Judging from the audience's reaction, I knew it would be quite the weekend. Saturday morning opened with a Chalk Talk ... a silent way for a large group of people to be in conversation together. They write their thoughts, feelings, and experiences on a large piece of paper, taking time to read each other's, comment, and make connections. The energy in the air was palpable. TV crews were kept at bay and cameras were turned off. This weekend is not about PR, it's about real people healing real wounds.

Therapists, Christian leaders, and every day survivors led workshops ranging from "Sharing Your Story" to "Building Healthy Relationships" to "Being a Powerful Ally." I was able to see change happening in the lives of those in attendance. God is moving among us.

The Ex-Gay Survivor's Conference brought people together from around the world to celebrate God and to celebrate God's creation. To recognize the pain wrought unnecessarily in the name of the Lord. To move forward together, healing and helping others to heal. To put forth a message that may not be popular but is of dire importance: God loves and affirms God's gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender children. Misguided attempts to force or shame individuals into so-called reparative therapy are ultimately ineffective and unfortunately have the potential to inflict emotional, spiritual, and physical harm.

God bless the survivors. And my prayers go out to those who are still struggling to accept themselves, who are suffering from depression, who have thoughts of suicide, and to the families of those that have lost loved ones because they were thought to be broken.

I was blessed with the opportunity to hear many of the survivor's share their stories, I will be posting some of those later as I can get them all together. I wish there was a better way to encapsulate the day for those who couldn't attend.

Community. Sharing. Learning. Healing. Faith. Love. Uplifting. Praying. Laughing. Power. Crying. Memories. Wounds. Loving. Strength. Beauty. Praising. Relationships. God.

A Call For Change

Former ex-gay ministry leaders Michael Busse, Darlene Bogle, and Jeremy Marks issued a public apology for their part in harmful "therapy" programs. Here is coverage of their remarks.

Learning to survive

Peterson Toscano kicked off the Ex-Gay Survivor's Conference with a performance of his one-man show "Doin' Time at the Homo No-Mo Halfway House", a mishmash of his decade's worth of experience in various ex-gay programs. Soulforce executive director Jeff Lutes welcomed those who already arrived .

I can already see wounds beginning to heal as one woman approached Peterson after the show, tears in her eyes, saying "Thank you for sharing your story." It's time to talk about the past and begin undoing the damage.

I'll try to upload videos throughout the day but if that doesn't work they will definitely be available soon!

Bearing False Witness

Beyond Ex-Gay co-founder, Peterson Toscano, who is also one of the planners for the Ex-Gay Survivor's Conference, shares on his blog the inappropriate manner in which Focus on the Family is treating the conference, which is planned for individuals who sought "ex-gay therapy" and found it did more harm than good (EXODUS reports at least 70% of its participants leave the program without a change).

The Ex-Gay Survivors Conference officially begins tomorrow, with an early registration this evening; however, Focus of the Family is already saying that it has drawn less than the Exodus conference (which has already started)

Exodus Conference Offers Hope to Hundreds

The 32nd annual Exodus International conference is underway in Irvine, Calif., and God is at work.

"We've already seen an amazing turnout, amazing response, amazing speakers," said Randy Thomas, executive vice president of Exodus. "The Lord has really done a great work so far in the conference."

The meeting, which began Tuesday and wraps up Sunday, has drawn close to 1,000 people — and no protesters so far. Across town, a counter-conference drew about 100 people. Thomas and Exodus President Alan Chambers are working to set up talks with the other conference leaders.

"We are always in ongoing communication with people who disagree with us, people with similar testimonies," Thomas said. "We definitely will be in communication with them."

I'm saddened to see a Christian organization lying in their releases; but unfortunately, I'm not surprised. Read more about the conference, Beyond Ex-Gay's response to Focus, and the planned dialogue between bXg and Exodus here.

A Journey Into Faith

Christine, a commenter over at GCM Watch, pointed me in the direction of the following video. It is a CBN profile on Charlene Cothran, editor of VENUS magazine, who recently became a Christian and refocused her magazine to promote a path out of homosexuality.



I found the video to be stirring. I am so happy to see that Charlene Cothran has discovered the joys of a relationship with the Lord. I know that God has been a central part of my life and I can't imagine a life without it. It is wonderful to see that Ms. Cothran has also come to find contentment in the Lord.

When she talks about standing in the middle of a parade and thinking "something isn't right," I almost couldn't help but yell out "Amen!" There is something missing. I worry that the LGBT community too often doesn't get to hear the message of God. They think they can't have it and Christians think they don't want it -- what a travesty! There is a longing in each person's heart--gay or straight--that no amount of parties, drugs, alcohol, money, or human relationships can fill.

Deciding to follow the Lord certainly doesn't come without cost. We cannot expect to simply carry-on as we were. "For if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation, the old has gone the new has come."

Charlene was right in recognizing that no woman will ever give her the contentment she ultimately seeks... and neither will a man. That contentment comes from God alone.

I wish Charlene Cothran many blessings in her walk with Lord and a prayer that she will feel loved and affirmed by the Creator that her together in the womb, fearfully and wonderfully. And I hope that Ms. Cothran knows her need for God is a separate issue from her identity, whatever that may be right now.

NY State Assembly passes marriage equality bill

Republican Theresa Sayward, who represents North County, a conservative district upstate, recounted her personal experiences as a mother of a gay child. “My son didn’t want to be different. Lord knows he wanted to change,” Sayward said on the floor. “It is not a life choice. My God loves my son. And as sure as I’m standing here tonight, this is certainly not for me, or should it be for any of us, anything other than a civil rights issue.”

For full coverage, read here.

The GOP-controlled state senate has refused to allow a similar bill come to the floor. In a month I will be traveling to New York for Soulforce's Right to Marry campaign and I will be visiting the northern portion of the state where there are no lawmakers who support marriage equality on record. All the while, three other groups criss-cross the rest of the state.

Please help make a change.

Tell Your Senators: Protect GLBT Americans

All crimes are tragic. Lives taken, property stolen, bodies injured, conscience betrayed. But when a victim is targeted because of her identity, she is not the only victim. Two crimes are committed: a heinous act against an individual and an act of terrorism against a community.

When a handicapped woman is assaulted, those with disabilities everywhere worry if they will be next.
When an African-American man is attacked, the message is clear: Your skin color makes you unsafe.
When a young life is taken on the basis of sexual orientation... young people everywhere live in fear.

Hate crimes legislation does not punish thought, it punishes action. Crimes against an individual and crimes against a community. Hate crimes already exist to protect community terrorism based on race, color, religion, ethnicity, or national origin. Statistics show that sexual orientation and gender identity are categories in which hate crimes are frequently committed -- yet current law ignores the damage felt in these communities. Gay, lesbian, and transgender individuals are told that they are less important than the other members of our society who are already protected.

It's time to send a different message.

Monday Mornings: Outreach/Isolation

The second week of Monday Mornings.

I wake up in my private room. I drive in my personal car, park in an underground parking structure and take an elevator directly up to the building lobby. There are six elevator bays for the Lower Tower, sometimes I take the second elevator if there are other people since I have to go all the way up to Floor 12. I sit at a private desk. I often take my lunch there. I respond to faceless emails. Take the elevator down. If new people enter, they entertain themselves with the video display--always facing forward. I drive home in my personal car. Make dinner in my apartment with my flatmates I've known since freshman year. When we go out, we take our private cars and sit amongst ourselves in restaurants or in dark movie theaters.

How can I do more outreach? How can I change the course of someone's otherwise quiet and private day by showing a little unexpected interest? What would it mean to eat my lunch outside and not just observe but participate. How can I become involved with my community--not just involved with my friends in my community--but the strangers in my community as well?

I'm not sure yet. Here's to finding out...

Exodus Freedom and Beyond Ex-Gay

At the end of this month, Exodus International will be hosting a massive conference to promote their anti-gay/ex-gay agenda. By focusing on the "brokenness" of GLBT individuals, they will tell participants "this is about you becoming transformed into his image so that you [...] can contribute to the body of Christ."

Occurring at the same time will be a smaller, less high-profile, but equally powerful conference. Soulforce and Beyond Ex-Gay have teamed up to host the Ex-Gay Survivors conference.

Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals already ARE apart of the body of Christ, they are already contributing to the body, and God is using them in amazing ways! This is a message proclaimed not only by other GLBT individuals, but from Christian theologians, pastors, and professors in every Christian denomination!

There is no condemnation in being gay. God has amazing things in store for his GLBT children. Pain, humiliation, rejection, and condemnation are not among them.

The conference is run by fellow ex-gay survivors, straight pastors (such as civil rights leader Rev Phil Lawson), counselors, and former Exodus/ex-gay leaders.

If you are struggling with a decision on whether or not to enter into an ex-gay program or "repairative therapy," if you are already involved in such a program, or if you have been in the past, you need to check this out first.

God loves you and affirms you, just as you are.

A simple way to spread the truth

On Tuesday I shared that the Montgomery County school board voted to include limited instruction on sexual orientation in their health class curriculum for 8th and 10th graders. Teach the Facts is a non-profit organization dedicated to seeing that health education in the county is factual and comprehensive. While stressing abstinence, they also want to make sure that students are informed of how to protect themselves and have important information about sexual orientation (it is usually not a choice and is not a disease). Dispelling myths and stereotypes help to protect all students in the tumultuous time that is adolescence.

Please add your voice to this important conversation by signing their petition or contacting local officials.

As a graduate of the Montgomery County public school system and a registered Maryland voter, I am proud to see the progress that has been made and hopeful that which is still to come.

Desmond Tutu: God is weeping

An excerpt from a conversation between Brad Pitt and Nobel Peace Prize winner Archbishop Desmond Tutu:

Archbishop Tutu: … I come from a situation where for a very long time people were discriminated against, made to suffer for something about which they could do nothing — their ethnicity. We were made to suffer because we were not white. Then, for a very long time in our church, we didn't ordain women, and we were penalizing a huge section of humanity for something about which they could do nothing — their gender. And I'm glad that now the church has changed all that. I'm glad that apartheid has ended. I could not for any part of me be able to keep quiet, because people were being penalized, ostracized, treated as if they were less than human, because of something they could do nothing to change — their sexual orientation. For me, I can't imagine the Lord that I worship, this Jesus Christ, actually concurring with the persecution of a minority that is already being persecuted. The Jesus who I worship is a Jesus who was forever on the side of those who were being clobbered, and he got into trouble precisely because of that. Our church, the Anglican Church, is experiencing a very, very serious crisis. It is all to do with human sexuality. I think God is weeping. He is weeping that we should be spending so much energy, time, resources on this subject at a time when the world is aching.

Brad Pitt: I couldn't agree with you more. Thank you for saying that.

From this month's (RED) Vanity Fair

Beauty.

Words will never do this justice. A mobile phone salesman from South Wales moves us all.



Thanks to The Point for the link. I'm not sure what it is, but somehow true beauty has a way of gripping us all by the soul.

And here I thought it was common sense

The Montgomery County school board voted to adopt new sex education lessons to be taught to all 8th and 10th graders, including a provision which allows teachers, if asked, to tell students that homosexuality is not a mental disorder.

The one-sentence addition has been at the center of much debate recently, though the measured passed 6-1. I'm a little confused. If a student asks a simple question, why on earth should a teacher NOT be able to clarify facts? Important facts... such as, no, homosexuality is not a mental disorder.

I don't understand how this could in anyway be problem. But apparently it almost was.

Another historic anniversary

Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.

There must be something in the stars because June 12 marks the anniversary of yet another historic landmark. This one, the ruling of the Supreme Court on Loving v. Virginia. The Freedom to Marry campaign celebrates this important decision.

“ The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men.”
U.S. Supreme Court
LOVING v. VIRGINIA, 388 U.S. 1 (1967)
Decided June 12, 1967.

Here's to a brighter future...